Friday, September 25, 2009

On the eve of our move

I guess this here is slowly becoming a "mom" blog. No offense to other mom-bloggers out there...you rock at parenting and the choice to write exclusively about your children is noble and completely understandable. I just have a personal goal to keep this space open for a wide range of topics. I view it as an adult corner in my world. But where my efforts to write about things broader than just my child are slipping, I'm starting to wonder if the stress of moving has pushed me into finding solace in the one job that is constant: parenting my daughter. It's everyday. And it's non-stop. If you argue with me on that point, I would politely disagree, from the bed of my daughter at 6 o'clock this morning where I laid curled up in a ball in the tiny space she wasn't hoarding in order to calm her down after a bad dream. This job just doesn't end.

I just now finished laying her down for a nap, and lately we've gotten into the ritual of having "rocking" time before bedtime. Whether or not its an attempt on both of our parts to stall our eventual callings (hers being to go to sleep and mine being to drudge through the boxes and stuff needing to be boxed), it's a comfort to us both. In the quiet of her room, shades drawn, soft music calming the space around us, I rock her. I think of how I need to do a million things, and then I tell myself I won't be able to do this for much longer. She'll squirm away from my touch and beg for her space. But for now, I rock her. And I look into her eyes and tell her I love her. She says, "Yeah." And she blinks, her eyelids closing more slowly, letting me know she's just about to doze off. I gently lay her down and scoot out to my other job. My much less important job of packing.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this post because it is true and exactly how I feel! Being a Mom is so non-stop but at the same time we know one day it will end and we won't be able to slow down and rock our little ones before naps anymore. That is my favorite time with Aidan and I cherish every minute of it (even if I am dead tired and have a million things to do!!)

kelly said...

Time is flying by with Owen. I can't stand to think about it sometimes. I am savoring the little moments, too. Like when I say "Mama needs a kiss" and I get a big sloppy one, complete with double-handed face grab. You know those won't last forever. Sigh.
Good to see you two today. I know it was busy, but YOU'RE IN!

Megan said...

Ok... tears, lots of tears over here. This is such a sweet post! I feel ya Sista!

andrés miguel said...

just in case you're not aware, these vignettes are quite near finished "pieces" or short chapters in a larger collective that is commonly known as a novel, novella, short story, memoir...i think you catch my drift. put them together and start submitting. now.

andrés miguel said...

i also must say that i envy what i'll refer to as the "quiet spaces" of your more domesticated life wherein you have the mental space to think clear thoughts and write intricately about the nuances of such subjects as parenting or cooking. the city is not so conducive to this kind of creative serenity and thereby doesn't allow for much creative productivity outside of what i do for "the man." so be grateful you have this creative space. ;) and use it to your advantage. yes, this sounds unabashedly like an older brother post. hehe.. grain of salt.

RT said...

Beautiful post. The non-stop nature of mommying sometimes kills me. But those quiet, peaceful, snuggly moments are balm to my soul. Like this post. : )