So I think I am a master escape artist!...at least in the blogging world. It has been 21 days since I last wrote and so much has gone on. I had a great time in Baltimore with Peter, Erica, and Alina Beth. I felt like it was the first time I got to spend a good amount of time with Peter in many years. In fact, I don't feel like we have had that kind of quality time in 8 years or more. Once I left for college 12 hours away from home and then he went to college the next year 24 hours away from home, we began to develop bad habits of not keeping in touch very well. He began dating Erica his first year of college, and I did not get to spend good quality time with her either. On this trip I realized how much I like my brother and his wife, not to mention loving them. They are really fun and I enjoyed connecting with them and seeing their life as husband/wife and dad/mom.
And Alina Beth....seriously, she is such a beautiful child. She smiled the entire time I was there. I am not joking, she is the most contented baby ever, and she has a smile that makes you
feel so special. I am excited about that little girl and her parents. I also had a good time with Andrew and Jenny and my mom. Between chilling on the couch and checking out the Baltimore sights, we had a great weekend. Praise Jesus for beautiful nieces like Alina Beth and Evie.
Since I got back I have been working 40 hours a week at Starbucks...and wondering what in the world I am doing with my time. I have not enjoyed Starbucks at 20 hours a week...you can imagine how it has felt at 40 hours a week. I applied at some temporary agencies to try to get some better part time work.
One great thing God has brought into my life recently has been a woman, Jan, who is a friend of a friend of mine. My friend hooked me up with Jan who, a lisenced counselor and professor at our local community college. I have a had a couple of conversations with Jan over the last couple of months which have been so encouraging of my counseling career. She has recently encouraged me to apply to teach at our community college in the family/human studies department...long story short, I am turning in the application to human resources tomorrow.
Ok, so you might be doing a double take at your screen and asking me (in your mind or under your breath "What?!?! Teaching at a community college?!?!") Yes. How weird...I never even considered teaching, but here I go turning in an application based on the encouragement of a woman I have never met face to face. Last week I found out our health insurance through starbucks is being dropped at the end of the week, and it is all due to my lack of administrative skills in keeping track of my hours. Major ooops! As I sat in my office in front of my computer hating myself and seriously doubting God, I decided to call a good friend in our church. She asked me what the messages were that I was telling myself. As I talked with her I began to really wonder what in the world was going on and would God ever open a door, especially one I want to walk through. After talking with her I called Jan, the women I mentioned earlier who I had only spoken with once before. I was ready to talk seriously with her about counseling (ready to take a risk). During that conversation she told me about the open teaching positions. She doesn't even know me...she is just going off of whatever my friend from church told her, yet I felt so enouraged. That day I downloaded the application and began dreaming about something I have never considered doing.
So that is a long and drawn out story...one that I really question even telling because I have no idea if anything will come of it. How hard it is to put your heart and desire into something that may not work out. But I am learning that that is what all of life is about. The only insurance policy we have is in God's love for us and His desire for our best. This step I am taking is a major step off a cliff, and I hoping the Lord will provide something for me when my feet come down. I still don't know what God's best looks like in terms of my career. But I did find a verse a couple of weeks ago that spoke to me about God's desire for my life in general (and in specific with whatever I say or do).
Psalm 16:5-11
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forever more."
I especially love the highlighted portion. I have stared at those words "my whole being rejoices" and wondered how that is possible and what it would feel like. I wrote those words down and put them in my starbucks barista apron, and they have burned a hole in my pocket while I have been at work (not rejoicing in my whole being but rather complaining and pouting that I have to do something I don't want or feel like doing at the moment). How do I rejoice when I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride of emotions? Better yet, how do I get off that roller coaster so that my joy is not dependent on what God is or is not doing that I have put on the agenda for "things to happen by age 27"? I am in the process of figuring out how to get off the ride. So here I go...teaching job or no teaching job, my flesh dwells secure...because in God's presence there is fullness of job (oops, total type-o but soooo ironic--I meant joy) and pleasures forevermore"!!
Enjoy the pictures from the weekend in Baltimore. Also, thank you for all the birthday wishes! I felt so loved as I rounded the corner to hit 27. Crazy...um, dare I say I am an adult?! I am having a girls' night on Saturday for a belated party where I will be serving green apple and raspberry martinis along with my favorite coconut curry chicken. Yum yum!
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