Goodbye, dream

Every so often I have a reoccurring bad dream. I wouldn't call it a nightmare. There's no running or falling or knives involved. No, just a lot of anxiety and confusion. My dream goes a little something like this: I am in high school or college, and it is towards the end of the semester. As I am preparing for finals I realize that I had enrolled in a class at the beginning of the semester and then completely forgot about it. Of course it is too late to drop out, and since I have been to zero classes, I am doomed to fail unless I can read the entire textbook in just a few days. Usually the dreams also consist of some project I need to complete. Sometimes it is a long research paper (I hate research papers...they seriously taunted me in high school and college) and sometimes it is a project. Oh, and one more thing, the class is always science, a subject which I found particularly challenging in my school days.

Last night's project "du jour" was indeed a science project. (She shudders as she remembers the crazy deadlines and those large, three-sided cardboard displays which were way more fun to decorate than anything else remotely scientific).

I remember freaking out in the dream. There it was again, those familiar feelings and that crazy awareness in your sleep that feels oh-so-real. What was I going to do? How could I let this happen? Why did I not see this class on my schedule until now?

Somewhere in the midst of my slumbering panic, I struck a genius idea. After wracking my brain trying to think through my options, I decided I would do an experiment involving food. I knew I liked cooking, and so why not do an experiment in an area I found interesting? "Genius," I told my sleeping self. And right then and there I decided my project would be to test out the different leavening agents, namely yeast, baking soda, and baking powder. My plan was to bake three batches of cookies, using one of those ingredients in each batch to compare the results in the baking process. Pretty clever, right?

I remember the feeling of pride swelling in me and the total sense of victory for finding a great project to do. Never had I reached such success in this dream before now. For once I had hope and confidence that I would finish the project, ace the test, and pass the class.

Well, in that unexplainable way that dreams drift off without endings, mine dissipated without me ever making the cookies or finishing the project. All I knew was I had figured out a way to pass the class.

I woke up refreshed and proud of myself. I laid there so content, a silly little grin on my face...until it hit me: I wasn't really in school, I hadn't actually accomplished anything, and I had stolen the idea for the science project from one of the eighth grade girls in my small group from church. (A few weeks ago she told us what she did for her science project, and apparently my brain was so impressed it stole the idea to work into the plot of my bad dream rerun).

I'll be honest, I'm glad my brain did that. Smart little plagiarist. And I hope it tells whoever is in charge of the dream department that we're through failing classes in our sleep. Take that, you menacing little dream.