Two recent conversations

Conversation #1: While driving in the car with Matt

Me: (emphatically) "That does NOT look like a nice park to take children to!"

Matt: "It's a cemetery!" (laughing hysterically).

I think my point is still valid.


Conversation #2: On a walk with Karis

A few nights ago Karis and I head out to enjoy the evening breeze. We approach a nice elderly gentleman who is slowly making his way down the road using leg braces. Thinking nice thoughts about him and his courage to go for a walk when it is clearly a lot of work, we smile, stop, and introduce ourselves. Stu was his name and he was a friendly guy.

For the most part.

A few minutes into our small talk he looks at me and says, "I don't mean to be a wise guy but I have some stuff that you can put on your face and take care of that problem."

THE NERVE. Right? I am sure my face fell immediately. I felt my demeanor change. I couldn't help it. He hurt my feelings.

He then proceeds to tell me about this "stuff" he's got. When he fought in the Korean war, he and his fellow soldiers would apply this special cream to their wounds. He insists it would work great on my skin "problem." It even worked for a girl down the street, he says.

Ok, Stu. You crossed the line. First of all, your "Korean War cream" scares me. I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Second, these aren't life threatening wounds sustained in the heat of battle. Just an ordinary, harmless nuisance.

Well, I've got to give Stu credit for at least perceiving I was put off. He began complimenting Karis on how cute she was. Then he tells me I am beautiful and how my eyes are lovely. Too late, buddy.

So how does Stu end this awkward conversation? He asks for my hand. I awkwardly give it to him not sure if he is going to give me a gentlemanly kiss or shake it. He then proceeds to hold my hand and stare off into space for a VERY LONG TIME. I am not sure if he is trying to remember something, practicing telepathy, or simply passing gas. Either way, I just stand there unsure how this is all going to end.

Finally, he snaps out of his trance and looks at me and says, "You will live a long life...I can feel it."

Yeah.

I think I managed a "thanks" before shoving off in the opposite direction.

A couple days later I pass him in my car. I wave, and I can tell he wants me to stop and talk. I was running late for an appointment and had to keep going. I sort of regret not stopping. Sort of. But, truth be told, I couldn't run the risk of him actually having a vial of his potion rustling around in his pocket that he'd been carrying around in the hopes that he would see me again. I just couldn't risk it.