A rainbow after the storm

So far, March has held the "least hours blogged award". It is so hard to believe that March is almost over. The first two weeks were spent in Florida with family and friends, and the last two weeks have been a whirlwind of events. The lack of internet on my personal computer has contributed greatly to my lack of blogging activity. Let me start by saying how much I love my husband!! I came home from work today to the usual--a very happy and loving husband so excited to see me. This is standard in our relationship--Matt is always excited when I walk through the door. I have really come to appreciate the even-tempered and always content attitude of my husband. I have been so blessed by his love and support lately. What made coming home to him even more grand was that he had fixed my internet which has not worked for the last month. I am a happy girl!

Lately God has been really pursuing me...and when I say pursue I mean he has thrown down seemingly all obstacles in the way that keep my heart from clinging to Him. I am realizing how I look to people, events, jobs, conversations, relationships, and other things in my life to fill me. I am on a desparate search for that thing that will fill me, meet my needs, or to put it more simply, identify me. I have become aware of how I have struggled with this for many years now. I think the challenges that we faced in Saint Louis without friends and family around really highlighted this growing desire to be rescued by something. Instead of looking to God to be my identity and rescuer, I became good at identifying myself by my "counseling student" status. It was also easy for me to blame all my discontentedness on a lack of church family. Now that we are at "home" here in California and I have amazing friends around, I still have that incredible yearning to be completed and fulfilled. For instance, I have been searching for a job. The job I wrote about in the last two entries was slated in my mind to be that big thing that would fulfill my desires, time, and need for an identity. I could be a working woman. As my desire for the job grew, so did my expectation that the job would be perfect for my life. Therefore when I found out I didn't get the job...I was crushed. I couldn't believe it, and I was left feeling very tired with no job prospects on the horizon to give me hope. It has been in my exhaustion and frustration this last week that my eyes have begun to open to the severe mercy of God in His plan. I don't fully understand, but what I do believe is that God has torn down a huge idol. My eyes are open to how much I worship that which will give me an identity...two years ago it was my counseling degree and a church family and in the last month, a full time job. I will admit, I really do not know what it looks like to have my identity be in Christ alone. But I want to know, and that is where I start....the best place to start!

Jessica came to visit Brooke and I this past week. I have so been looking forward to her trip, and I feel like every day spent with her is precious. Although I was struggling with a cold and the flu throughout her visit, I was so blessed by her company. Many other people around Brooke and I were blessed to. When Brooke and I took her to the airport yesterday, it was a sad goodbye but also a hopeful one too. It was raining during our drive to the airport. We were driving through a beautiful area in Pismo Beach and the sun had begun to shine through the rain clouds and golden lining around the horizon. As the rain lifted we looked ahead of us and in a large farm field we saw an entire rainbow, end to end. It literally was sitting there in its huge entirety in this field bright and beautiful. We pulled over and sat there thinking about God's promises to us in this life and the life to come. He loves us and is for us!

Here are some pictures of our visit together. Glad to be blogging again, and hopefully it won't be so long before I blog again!

Hmmm....

Ok, I will completely admit I have no idea what God is up to. I talked with the head of human resources for the job I told you guys about, and she told me I "wasn't advancing to the next step" in the job selection process (or something that sounded like that). I won't pretend that I am ok with this. I am really disappointed (and angry), to be honest. Again, I have no idea what God is up to. The last few weeks Matt and I have been training our dog Keller to walk a few steps behind us because it teaches her submission to our lead. As I have taken her on walks this week I have found the profound connection between Keller submitting to my lead and my need to trust where the Lord is leading me. The one in the lead has can see the full view ahead, and often this is the hard part for me. I want to see the view ahead, the full panoramic view. I want to know where I am headed and I even want to choose what direction I am headed in. But God is leading me, and I ask for your prayers as I learn to trust His lead. Also please pray that I will be encouraged to continue this job search. I do think this disappointment can strengthen my resolve to find a job.

East Coast Travels

In reference to title of my blog, Matt and I have made the journey "from coast to coast" in these past two weeks. We have been touring our great home state of Florida. We began our time in Jacksonville to be with Matt's parents, grandmothers, and brother's family and then we made our way down to Orlando to visit Matt's sister and her husband. We are now vacationing in sunny southwest Florida with my parents and sister. We have so enjoyed the retreat from our normal routine in California, and we have appreciated the time to reconnect with family and friends we don't get to see but once a year, if that. Living a bi-coastal life is a hard one, and I am reminded of that. I am growing to love my California home more and more and I feel that that is absolutely where we belong, but my heart also longs to be in a more regular relationship with those back on the east coast. But have no fear, you west-coasters, trips like this back to Florida only cement in our minds just how much we feel called to live in California. So, until our families decide to uproot and join us in the fabulous west, we are left to be trailblazers facing the setting sun with longing hearts for those behind us.

Today we had a wonderful adventure touring some islands off the coast of the southwest cape coral region. I have included some shots from today's adventure. Pray for safety for the rest of our trip. Also, exciting news!!!!......please pray for me tomorrow, Friday, at 12 noon eastern time and 9 am pacific time. I have an interview with an organization for a coordinator position that I absolutely would looooove to get. I haven't mentioned it before on the blog because my heart has been too excited and hesitant to even bring it up. But I am asking you all to pray for me that the phone interview will go well tomorrow, and if the Lord wills, that I will get this job. I will tell you all more about the position later...especially if I get it. Enjoy the pictures!