Seeing the back of my daughter's head and the heads of her friends as they bounded through the green grass of Memorial Park yesterday caused me to turn to my friend Nikki and utter words not often heard escaping my discontented lips: "It really is a privilege to be a stay-at-home mom." Of course Nikki knows me better than to trust my sudden burst of optimism and questioned if I weren't perhaps experiencing a sugar rush from the pumpkin spice lattes we were downing at a good rate.
I often struggle with my current job of stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I happen to know a lot of SAHM's who love it, even relish it, and wouldn't have it any other way. While I love my child and the comforts of home, I also desire to have a foot in the working world and the rhythm, structure, and adult conversations that come with having a job. But this stage in my family's life requires that I put those desires away on a shelf, to be taken down at a later time when my family doesn't need me as acutely as they do now. And I'm at peace with that, most of the time.
But yesterday I was more than at peace with it. Throughout the day I caught glimpses of the privileges that come with being a full-time mom, wife, and house manager. I was aware of the time, space, and freedom Karis and I both have as a result of me not working right now, and I felt grateful.
:: Doing laundry on my bed as Karis woke up from her nap in her usual groggy, cranky state.
:: Playing a quiet game in the clothes hamper.
::Visiting MeMa next door (a.k.a. Great Grandma).
:: Boiling chickpeas to make homemade hummus, a time-consuming process.
:: Reading Karis a bedtime story (my hat goes off to mom's working the night shift!).
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Greener grass
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6 comments:
AMEN TO ALL THAT!!!!!!!!! AND ENJOY IT. She'll fly out of the coop very soon, so keep on being the smart, wonderful, merciful, tender, creative, and disciplinary mom that you are, and enjoy every tiny little moment, even the less important ones, the cranky ones, the sick ones, the song and dance ones, and the sweet ones because you are making a person who will be a future adult. Her insecurities, her fears, her virtues, and her joys are now in the works--and that is worth more than gold or US Dollars. Your contact with her is molding her like with your touch, example, and guidance, and best of all your love.
I so get it. So So So understand. I think it's okay that some women aren't cut out to be SAHMs. I think in an ideal world the lines between "work" and home are much more blurred.
I also understand those morsels (a firend of mine calls them GEMS=genuine encounter moments) where the privelege is so profound.
Love this blog post. Motherhood/womenhood/whathaveyou is on my mind a lot these days.
I love this post Alina!! I miss Karis sooo much! Hope we get to see her at Alina Beth's birthday next Sunday!!
I believe how big Karis is. She is a real girl... not a baby anymore.
I think we all struggle at times with the reality of what it simply- or not simply at all- means to be home with little ones. It is all-consuming and each one comes along and adds to the demands of time and energy. And each one tucks away another small piece of self. It's beautiful. And it's painfully so. Love to you!
Maryanne
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