Getting back on the wagon

In short, it has been tough around here. I can't believe the last time I posted was nearly 2 months ago. I have always been a 1-2 time a month writer. But, I'll be really honest, if ever there was a time to fall off the blog wagon, it was these last two months. And rather than "falling" off the wagon, it is more like I went flying, head over heels, and landed with a sonic boom. But such is life in the midst of major transitions.

On August 30, we finally packed up our belongings and cleaned out the bedroom we'd been camping out in for the last nine months. A major chapter of uncertainty closing. There was finally a job lined up. A rental deposit had been paid. Papers signed. And with the truck finally loaded, we drove the forty minutes to our new house.

Oh the joy, relief, and oddly enough, grief that came flooding in with these momentous changes. It is hard to describe (in part because I don't fully understand it all), but the move seemed to be the beginning of a new chapter of struggle. I expected life to magically fall back into place now that we were back on the road to independence and career gains. What I didn't anticipate was the letdown of all the emotions over the last year, all the fallout over the transitions and decisions, to hit me smack dab in the face, and send me flying off that wagon.

Grief is shitty. Is there any other possible way to put it? I cannot reserve that strong description for anything more fitting than grief and loss. We were simply not created to grieve.

I am knee deep in the mud. I see glimmers of hope and restoration. I met with our compassionate pastor yesterday and was reminded that God wants me to be honest with him. In that reminder I see a glimmer of hope.

I don't leave you with the promise that I will blog more (although I do hope to). But I do leave you with a little photo tour of the last few weeks.

My office: Perhaps this may be part of the reason why it has been so hard to blog as of late?

Our dining room table: for the first week, at least. Karis never knew the difference. We are now eating like civilized people in chairs with our feet under us. FYI-we sold most of our furniture in California before moving here. We are slowly beginning the process of replacing it all.

Unkempt lawn: The proportions are wrong. The grass is actually twice the size of the mug. I am sure our neighbors LOVE us. :-) In our defense, we've been super busy, and we are readjusting to the super fast rate at which grass grows here in Florida.

Skyline view from my back porch: I love it. Tall trees. Tons of green. It is a pleasant yard.

A dorky moment: As I sat on the porch tonight drinking my homemade mocha and playing around with my camera, I kept staring at my shirt and my mocha and admiring how they matched so perfectly. It was oddly satisfying.

A Floridian, again
Alina, here. Long time no update. Nice to see you again. I have been in a place in life where it is hard to put down exactly what I am thinking. I guess I have been too much "in it" to be able to talk about it. To reward your patience, I'll start off with a big announcement...we have found a city to live in. Drum roll, please...

Here.

In Jacksonville, Florida.

Yeah, I know! God has a funny, funny way of throwing some surprises in life. So here we have been, our life on hold as Matt looks for a new job in a new city, and we have been living the whole time in the city that we now call home. I need a moment to sit back and laugh at the irony of it all!

We looked and looked at other cities in the southeast, but no jobs have come through. As time has gone by, Matt has grown increasingly more interested in becoming a firefighter in the city of Jacksonville. The journey of becoming a firefighter will probably take a couple of years because of schooling. In the meantime, Matt has landed a job, and we are thrilled. We even signed a lease to rent a cute little 50's home in the city. My mind is dreaming of the winter garden I will be starting on soon after the move-in. Ahh...a winter vegetable garden...certainly one of the perks of the Florida climate!

Over time we have come to like the idea of living here. We are close to both families, and while it is still super, SUPER hot here, it is not as hot as my native South Florida. Being only 20 minutes from the Georgia border sure does help me swallow the idea of being a Floridian, again.

The Long Road
These last seven months here have been long and difficult as we have not been sure where the road is going and where God is leading us. At many moments, it has felt like our life has come to a screeching halt. It has felt like a giant PAUSE button was pressed, and our lives became filled with silence and questioning. I kept going to God and asking for clarity. I kept asking for my fox. The answer I kept getting: Little clarity, and no fox. But what is so amazing is how I have been continually reminded that my cup runs over. I am so blessed. I must, must, must remind myself of that. It has been a discipline in 'daily reminders'.

Job's Challenge
A few weeks ago, just prior to Matt receiving his job offer, I was reading through Job. I started off and when I got to Job 1:21, I was stunned. I stopped and stared at the words. I mean I was completely paralyzed with wonder. It reads:

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

This is so incredible to me. Here is a man of God who had EVERYTHING. Truly wealthy by the standards of his day. God took it all away, and without any pause in the sentence he says, "Blessed be the name of the Lord." That has been my challenge: in the absence of a clear, well-lit path...to bless the name of the Lord!

I am excited about what our future holds. We both have hope for the career path Matt is choosing. We are excited about Jacksonville. We love our church. While I have not seen a literal fox, I look at these blessings as my reminders from the Lord that He LOVES us. But, I won't lie, I am still looking around for that fox.

P.S. Sorry for the funky formatting and spacing issues. Blogger, if I could shake you without hurting my computer, I would! ***Update: Problem solved. Blogger, we are friends again. Sorry I doubted you.***

P.S.S. Meet my adorable models, Karis and her new friend. I LOVED our little photo shoot yesterday...I took about 100 pictures of their squirming little bodies to come away with these four shots. Well worth it in the end, I might add.

The Unexpected

There is something about being a parent that causes me to worship. I don't fully understand it, but often I find myself praising God or praying to him while I am knee deep in the ordinary and mundane tasks of parenthood. It is difficult to find time to intentionally be with God. Now, I know we are always in His presence. But I am talking about the "be still and know that I am God" moments. Those moments are hard to come by as I rush around throughout the day picking up, wiping down, chasing, comforting, and correcting. I think God gives an extra measure of grace to mommies by giving them moments to worship throughout the day...if we can slow down and see them. Tonight I was pleasantly surprised when the moment came. It was a little after midnight, and I was leisurely watching a movie. Karis had been down for hours and nearly never wakes up in the night anymore. In fact it has been 12-14 hour stretches of sleep for months (glorious, I know!). So I was surprised when she began to cry and cry and cry. Annoyed and frustrated I headed in to comfort her. I held her and rocked her while singing to her. At first she resisted. But then she quietly gave in and rested her stubborn head on my shoulder. And then it happened, at the most unlikely moment. In the dark of her bedroom, as her breathing slowed down to a restful rhythm, with my movie on pause in the next room, I began to sing: "I love you, Lord. And I lift my voice to worship You. Oh, my soul, rejoice! Take joy, my King, in what you hear. And may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear." There, in that moment, I entered into worship.

Blessed by Jessica

I had the privilege of attending Jessica's funeral last week. I wrote these words to friend today, and they sum up the experience:

"It was so good to go the funeral. I had Karis with me so I was exhausted in watching her and caring for her alone on the trip, but I am so glad that I pushed through and attended all the events. It was because of the Lord that I was able to go. Money was provided for the trip COMPLETELY, and I even came home with a little to spare in my pocket. I hadn't even been considering going because of the money factor, but the Lord paved the way. I am so glad He did because I feel some closure after having seen her body and participating in the events with people who knew her at so many different stages in her life. Kristina, her friend who helped care for her even up to the moment that she took her last breath, told us about Jessica's last few hours and that last breath she took. It was super hard to hear, and I had trouble sleeping that night, but it was also good for me. I felt the Lord's presence during this whole trip. He showed me that our bodies are a shell containing life and our spirit...both of which He gives and takes away at his bidding. Looking at her body I knew her shell was the only thing in that coffin. She is with Jesus. I also learned through all the testimonies and Jessica's video that all of life is about Christ. ALL of it! I forget this instantly. The slightest thing distracts me from this truth. The Lord loved Jess, and she loved Him because of it. To see that blessed me!"

The video I mention above is one that Jessica made a few months before her death. She wanted to make it to be shown at her funeral. It was really poignant and also wonderful to watch it and cry at a table full of friends. I was so glad to laugh at her sense of humor, even as she was already gone. (That girl was FUNNY!) I encourage you to watch the video and to share it with others. It is long (16 minutes), and it is emotional. But it is totally worth it. Praise the Lord for Jess's life and her testimony. You can watch the video by clicking here or type in the address http://chriswinesette.com/2008/07/22/leaving-a-legacy/.

Remembering

Jessica Frailey Vannatta went to be with her Savior Thursday, July 10. I am so sad I won't see her again on earth. I can't wait to laugh with her in heaven.

For those who knew her and want to attend her funeral, it is going to be held at 10 am on Wednesday, July 16 at Stonybrook United Methodist Church in Gahanna, Ohio.

The Big ONE

On Saturday we celebrated Karis first year of life. The food was carefully prepared. The table lovingly set. The birthday girl festively dressed. The balloons hung boldly in the corner. This was her birthday party. Karis was turning one! And yet I told Matt that I felt as if this really was more of a party for us, her parents. It felt like our celebration of making it through this first year. It was our time to say "Thank you, Jesus" for loving us so much to give us this beautiful child and giving us the strength and sanity to make it through the newness, uncertainty, and sleeplessness that is infancy. So, yeah, Karis partied. (Crazy little thing knows how to shake it and dance!) And so did the relatives (minus the dancing). But most importantly, we rejoiced!

The birthday girl loved the balloons...they were quite the highlight of the party.


We had a cupcake theme going for her party. Cupcakes seem to be all the rage right now in the culinary/pastry world. I am no less captivated than all the other cupcake enthusiasts out there. A cupcake is, afterall, a single serving of cake without the guilt of cutting into an entire cake for just one slice. That is genius, in my book! Karis' aunt made her cute outfit. I had fun making her "cupcake" invitations with some beautiful, graphic paper. And I even tried my hand at making some actual cupcakes. I made the chocolate sour cream cupcake batter from here and the easy vanilla bean buttercream from here, one of my favorite recipe sources. Both recipes were delicious and worked so well together...I highly recommend them. It was a super fun project to work on, and I was glad they turned out.


On the actual day of her birthday we took her to the park for the first time. What an introduction that was!! She loved the plastic playground and crawled through the giant tubes and slid down the slide on her Dad's lap. The swing, on the other hand, was not love at first introduction. The expression on her face tells just how unsure she was. By the end of the park visit, though, even the swings had won her over.


Last, I thought I'd share a video with you of our family music party on her birthday. Dad is musically inclined and loves to sing and play music for Karis. Karis seems to be taking a natural liking to these "music classes." As you can see at the beginning of the video, Karis plays a mean drumstick....on her head.

I can't believe it

Our little girl is walking. Yup. She has flirted with the idea over the last week with a few baby steps here and there. But tonight she took the plunge. She stood up and decided she would take multiple steps at a time. I grabbed the camera just in time to catch the tail end of the action. Also, a few weeks ago she discovered the joy of clapping. It is such a small thing, but she is SO proud of herself. I find her clapping in her crib when I pick her up from a nap. I look in the rear view mirror as I drive and she is clapping. As I nurse her I look down and I find her clapping (how she manages to do both at the same time is no minor feat!). So it is fitting that in the momentous occasion of walking on two legs she would take the time to clap at every turn. In no less than three weeks we celebrate her 1st year of life. What a blessed year it has been!

Family Time

The last couple of weeks have been full of sickness and laying around the house. First Karis came down with a cold, then Matt got the flu, followed by his mom. Finally I got it as well as my father-in-law. No fun. No fun, indeed. But the clouds of sniffles and fevers have parted and today found us all in good health and spirits. So Matt, Karis, and I, our own little nuclear family of 3, spent some time together. First we went out together to run some errands around town. Nothing glamorous (Post Office, CVS, Staples). But somehow it was nice just being us. We finished up our outing with a delicious summertime treat...none other than a chocolate malted milkshake from Sonic. Seriously good. I mean G-O-O-D! Like, you go home and you blog about it kind of good! So with our bellies full and our sugar levels kicked in high gear, we headed home to play outdoors. We each turned to our favorite things: Matt pulled out his golf clubs, Karis pulled out the grass, and (you guessed it) I pulled out the camera. Once we all had our fill of fun (Matt was sweaty and Karis and I had ants crawling on us), we headed indoors where we gathered together for a family hug. Matt and I enjoyed it thoroughly with giggles and a tight squeeze. Karis, on the other hand, wriggled her little body away from us and had a look that said "I need space, people." So independent already, that little one. She is, after all, my baby. It was a sweet ending to the day. I am so grateful for my little family of 3.

The Lake House

Inspired by the long evening shadows and forgiving dusk light, I grabbed the camera and headed out the door tonight. Through all the uncertainty of the last 5 months, the backyard of the lakehouse where we are staying has been a place of solace for me. After crossing the finish line of evening activities including dinner, bathtime, nursing, and bedtime, I will often go to the one place I know of right now that is both beautiful and peaceful, especially in the evening light. I hope you can catch a little bit of the beauty in this photo series.

New discovery

There has been so much going on in the last few weeks. I'll admit, though, I am too tired and uninspired to blog much tonight. So instead I will leave you with some pictures of Karis exploring grass for the first time a few weeks ago. It was a fun parenting moment to watch her explore the prickly, bright green stuff that would come out of the ground if she pulled hard enough. Grass...a feast for the senses! Like many other things in life right now, seeing it through the eyes of a hungrily curious, "almost" toddler [sniff, sniff] is invigorating. It gives me energy and fills me with creativity. I hope to keep that creativity flowing in our home in all the seasons of childhood...and life, for that matter.

Rave reviews

In my quest to become more knowledgeable about photography and digital camera technology, I have always had it in the back of my mind that I need to learn how to use Photoshop. It seems that I just missed the technology boat in high school. Computer technology wasn't quite there yet, and I had a typing class but no computer class. I know...kind of crazy that I missed out on something that is so prevalent and basic to elementary and junior high kids today. So I was thrilled today to find that Adobe Photoshop has a new website called Photoshop Express. It is a quick, smaller version of the larger Photoshop application. What's is even more exciting is that it is very intuitive and user-friendly. That is of utmost importance to me, considering my aforementioned lack of computer intuition. Finally, I can correct, crop, and manipulate my photos 'til my heart is content. To celebrate, I bring you my first photo I turned black and white with this website.

Karis, lizard watching.

29 candles

A few weeks ago I turned 29, or as I see it, VERY close to 30. I can't lie. I feel old. Sorry to you readers who are over the age of 29. Rest assured, I don't think of you as old. No, certainly not. You are young, full of life, and gracefully aging. But me? I just feel old. After all, 29 is just one year/12 months/365 days away from the big 30. For some reason this milestone has been especially hard for me. Perhaps it is coupled with the ever growing presence of prematurely graying hairs on my head and the constant lack of energy. But really I think it is the realization that at my age, my mom was already a mother of 4 kids, my mother-in-law had all 3 of hers, and Matt's biological grandmother had already birthed 8! That last one is a little unusual, I know. But still, my point is...29 is adult. Make no mistake, I am an adult. And I am almost 30. (sigh)

Other than a minor mid-life crisis, my birthday was spent sitting in the lap of luxury, thanks to the love of my husband, family, and friends. After a delicious birthday dinner of steak and crab legs with Matt and his parents, I was led on an exciting scavenger hunt complete with riddles, clues, hunting through rooms, a decoy present, and a treasure at the end. I learned that I am not too old for a treasure hunt! Oh, and the treasure....you ask? It is the fabulous new love of my life...a Nikon D40 camera. Thanks to Matt and his orchestrating a fabulous gift courtesy of family and friends, I have moved up in the camera world. I love it, and I am so wildly grateful. Now the pressure is on to do the reading about the camera and general photography that I have been meaning to do for some time. I hope to bring you many new photo creations from Mr. Nikon in future blog posts to come. All complaints aside about my age, I am so blessed to have another year of life!

Praising God

We woke up this morning praising God for the safe, though stressful, delivery of Owen Andrew Johnson to Kelly and Ande, my sister-in-law and her hubby. Congratulations to the proud parents! Check out this little stud...

Roots

Last week Karis and I went on vacation to my parents' home. I must say that it is so wonderful to be able to drive a mere 5 hours and find myself sitting in their living room chatting away. That is a luxury I have not had since leaving for college 10 years ago. We all remarked how nice it is to live so close to each other. Our time was wonderful, filled with deep conversation, shopping, beaching, and plenty of baby relishing. I would say that Karis bonded for the first time with my parents and my sister, and it was such a wonderful thing to watch some of the most dear people in my life get to know each other!

No matter how well I think I know my parents, the people who saw me come into this world, raised me, and made countless decisions on my behalf for so many years, I amazed at the things I still find out about them. I guess in some ways the tables have turned. For years they poured into my life and knew me, and now I find myself so curious about these two individuals. I wonder who they are, and what are the experiences in their lives that have shaped them--whether it be their childhood or the years that I was living in my childlike, self-absorbed world, not paying the least bit of attention to them as individuals. Now that I have my own child and the generations are multiplying, I find myself curious...who do I come from?

Sitting around the dinner table the first night I got home, my Dad settled into his chair after a hard day's work. As conversation developed he began sharing stories of his childhood filled with the adventures, or misadventures rather, of him and his twin brother. He recounted story after story of pranks, outings, travel, and memories that gave me a flavor of what his childhood was like. I was captivated by the details. The next morning he offered to make some of his infamous rolls for breakfast. I call them infamous because my siblings and I would both look forward to and dread these "biscuit-ish, scone-esque" creations when we were kids. We looked forward to them because it was fresh, hot bread coming straight from the oven. The dread was because they were a bit of a gamble...Dad never used a recipe but simply grabbed whatever was available and struck his fancy that day. Most of the time they tasted good. We always joked that regardless of taste, the nutritional value was so superior and the density so great we were sure someone could survive on a deserted island with those and water alone.

As I was saying, we sat down the next morning around the table and I asked something I have never thought to ask: where did my father learn to make bread? He began to tell me how his Oma (German for grandma) was a great cook and baker. As a little boy he would crawl under the table where she sat rolling out dough for noodles (most likely for that night's goulash or beef stroganoff or some such other German/Hungarian fare). As she worked with the noodles, some of the dough would hang off the table, and my father's little hands would grab the leftovers. I love picturing my Dad as a little boy eyeing the scraps, positioning himself in the right place, and scoring the unwanted bits. It was his Oma's skills with flour, yeast, and water that trained my father in his baking skills. These stories help color in some of the missing shades of his life story in my mind.

I also got to know more about my mother. Born and raised in Cuba, my mother's childhood was full of experiences that were unique, lively, and quite un-American. I had the rare privilege of visiting Cuba in 1998 and became acquainted with the land and people that my mother came from. During my visit home last week, my mother took Karis and I to beautiful nearby Sanibel Island. With its white sandy beaches, light blue waters, and quaint lighthouse, we fully enjoyed our visit. As we sat there munching on our seafood salad sandwich and watching the family of dolphins lazily swim by, I remarked to my mom how much the beach seems to mean to her. Her response was immediate and passionate. She began to tell me stories of annual summer trips from her inland hometown in Cuba to the coastal towns where she and her parents would stay for a month long visit. Her days were spent running, swimming, and playing under the Cuban sun. In the afternoon, they would gather for games with the other vacationers. Good food and music were plentiful. For her, the beach is more than a great place to visit. There is something healing, soulful about the beach. She drinks it in. So, for me, there is no one I would rather go to the beach with than this woman, my mom.

3 Lessons learned

Lesson #1: Always ride in style
According to someone I know, when sitting in the stroller while on an afternoon walk, it is advised to make all efforts to be comfortable, not the least of which includes propping up one foot on the front tray.


Lesson #2: BIG changes can come in 3 short months
I read somewhere that the time frame of 6-9 months of age is full of discovery and exploration. No less can be said for Karis. Topping the list: eating solid food, speaking words (Daddy and doggy), crawling, pulling up, reaching out for mom, and waving hello. She is all movement these days.


Lesson #3: Stop and smell the roses
...and then take their picture. With all their radiance and perpetual smiling in the afternoon sun, it would simply be foolish to do otherwise.

On hospitality and foxes

I am a perfectionist. Not about all things. My sock drawer looks like it belongs to a sloth or a careless 2 year old. But when it comes to blogging, I am learning my habits. I am an "all or nothing" blogger. My standards are very high, and if I don't think a blog will reach those standards, I don't even bother to write. I am also a self proclaimed toaster. My thoughts need time to "toast" in my mind. When those thoughts are ready..."DING"... out comes a post worthy of my clicking the "publish post" button on my computer screen. Today I heard the "DING"!

On the job front
It has been a roller coaster this last month and a half. During this time we saw Matt apply for a number of jobs, get excited about different career paths, score interviews, be declined further interviews, and start the process all over again with other job applications. All told, job hunting is not for the faint of heart (for the applicant or his spouse)! We were excited about some job prospects in Nashville with a company that has impressed Matt and myself, but we prayed, and God showed...they were not the job(s) for Matt. We visited Nashville and Chattanooga and had an awesome visit with good friends. Both cities are near and dear to our hearts, and we are considering taking a leap and moving to either of them if a job does not come down the pipeline soon. We figure it may be time to drive our stake in the ground somewhere, call it home, and then feverishly look for a job there. It is, after all, rather challenging to look for a job from a different town.

Currently we are awaiting a reply from Chick-fil-a on an application Matt submitted last week to be a store owner/operator. Many of you know that this has long been a dream of Matt to own a store. It is a great company and quite difficult to get a job owning one of their stores. I am very proud of Matt for knocking on the door of the company for months, leaving many messages, networking with people who "know people", and selling himself over the phone as someone worthy to be considered. So far, it has paid off. They requested an application (believe it or not, that is a huge deal). We would like to ask that those of you who believe in prayer to offer some up for us that God would again show us if this is the path we are to take. We are excited and hopeful about our future (with or without Chick-fil-a), and we pray God would open and shut doors in a timely fashion.

Calling
In a lot of ways Matt and I have felt a little lost these last few months. I describe it as being like a ship without a rudder. It is a daunting task to completely change career paths, move across country, and share a home with another family. God has been moving in huge ways in our hearts, rebuilding our individual and family calling. A few nights ago Matt and I found ourselves knee deep in a thrilling conversation about this feeling of lostness, and we realized we need to know our family calling. As we talked we narrowed down our passions and dreams and realized our family calling. We are called to hospitality! We each feel a yearning and vision for our lives to be lived out in hospitality. To speak about it gave us hope that no matter where we end up and what Matt ends up doing for a paycheck, our lives are about something bigger. Whether it is having people in our home for a meal, a bible study, a conversation on our front porch (those are my favorite), crying with a friend in my bedroom, sharing a drink over soul-stirring conversation, serving up fried chicken to hungry customers, or foster/adopting children into our family...we were made for opening up our home and lives to people.

As we talked about it we were each filled with promise and renewed resolve. We each contribute to this vision in different ways. One of Matt's recent discoveries is that his love language is unhurried quality time. That is what makes him feel most appreciated. In a culture that perpetually watches their clock, this can be a difficult gift to give someone. He is motivated to give unhurried time. He is also excellent at conversation and discussion, helping people to process their lives against the backdrop of Christ and his kingdom. I love to tag team with Matt when we host parties because I know he will be a great team player in creating a space where people will feel welcome to talk and share their lives.

Hospitality is near and dear to my heart. My love for all things home and kitchen definitely comes in handy when inviting people over. I get excited about large tables with plenty of room for people to squeeze in. I dream about fun ways to set a table. I pathologically watch the food network. A cookbook is a "good read" on a Saturday night. Given these loves you can imagine it has been extra challenging to not have my own home and space to decorate. But what this time has done for me has sharpened my desire to be hospitable. I can't wait to have my own home again...and decorate it...and fill it with people.

The Fox
I have always loved foxes. I am not sure why. It may have to do with something I heard as a kid about foxes being very sneaky and hard to find because of their keen sense of smell. They can smell a predator coming a long ways away and scurry off before falling prey. In our last few months in California, Matt came inside the house one day after being in the backyard. He came in and announced excitedly, "I just saw a fox climbing up the hill in the backyard." Naturally, I dropped everything and ran outside hoping to catch a glimpse. The fox was gone. I was so bummed. As I thought about the fox that day, I prayed that God would show me a fox to remind me of His promise and guidance over our lives. We had just announced to the church we were moving, and I was feeling afraid of the future and so sad to say goodbye. I knew at the time that God is good no matter if He chose to show me a fox or not. Still, I watched and waited. No fox. I have remembered that prayer for a fox, and I still look. I believe God is saving that fox for the right time. As we talked about hospitality and prayed for God to help us fulfill our calling, I was renewed in my hope of God's promises. And I believe He will send a fox...
I'll tell you WHEN I see it!

No blog awards here

I apologize for the silence. Complete, deafening radio silence for the last 40 days. 40! Yep, that is blog neglect, to be sure. I have had a post brewing around in my mind for the last week or so, but I have been too distracted and unmotivated to sit down and get it out. So in an effort to break silence, I thought I would post a little teaser or advertisement that a larger post is to come...soon. No commitments, but I hope to do it tomorrow while Karis snoozes. Hopefully this tiny post will do its job...

The grand recap

Two months and one day ago I boarded a flight with the babe in my arms and the dog stowed somewhere below the cabin. I had with me enough belongings to live with for a week until Matt arrived with the moving truck. Thus began the next big step in our lives...the cross-country move. It is hard to believe how much time has flown by. In October we came to the decision to move and since that time it has been a whirlwind of plans, activity, upheaval, God's provisions, and a variety of emotions. It's been almost a month in a half since I let you guys know how we are REALLY doing. I dare say it is time for the grand recap!
























Karis the Heiress
First things first, let's talk about the adorable 18 lb, 7 month old bundle of joy living under this roof. Karis continues to bring such joy to Matt and I. At least once a day we find ourselves racing to get to her room before the other just to look at her while she is napping. Never before have I thought something or someone could move me like she does. In fact she moves me to worship. I know it sounds a little odd, but it's true. Lately as I play with her I will often find myself talking to God, thanking him for all of our blessings. I snapped these pictures of her the other day as she was playing in her crib.

Community Life
On to other news: Currently, we are living in Florida, with my in-laws, looking for employment and a place to call home, and caring for our infant child. Hmm...life has a way of throwing some unusual twists in it! No one ever PLANS to be in these situations. And yet here we are, and quite surprisingly we are enjoying life. First I've got to speak to one interesting aspect of our current living situation--community living. Two families under one roof. Not ordinary or American by any stretch of the imagination. And yet I have found myself appreciating some aspects of it. I think our culture is one of the few cultures that does not have a more multi-generational approach to family life. While I do not want this to be a permanent way of life, there are a few blessings coming from the arrangement. I have appreciated the free babysitting which allows me to catch up on some much needed rest. Also, I do not have to feel solely responsible for the care of a household. My favorite part, though, has been around dinnertime. There have been a number of meals where my mother-in-law and I work together and bring our different ideas together to create a meal. A lot of times the finished product includes the time worn southern recipes that she has perfected over the years. Those dishes mixed with my favorite Cuban dishes passed down from my mother's family makes for a funny and yet altogether homey mixture of meals. Imagine the table set for four, a highchair, Cuban black beans and rice (or some other Cuban dish), mac 'n cheese, broccoli casserole, mustard greens, and the always present biscuits. (I'll be honest, I am coming to looove biscuits. ) It's a strange fusion of cultures....we're living on the Cuban-Dixon line!

Working Man
As for Matt's job search, we are learning how large a task it is to start over and look for a new job, especially when you are also looking for a complete career change and new city to call home. The process has started off from ground one with some personality tests to help Matt determine exactly who he is and what he would be good at. After that, it was on to rebuilding his resume. With that now under his belt, Matt is shooting off his resume to anyone and everyone related to tech/project management positions. We remain hopeful and excited that we will find a new home and he will find a fulfilling job.

Daily Bread
I've got to admit, though, these last few months have not been without some bleak moments for me of not knowing where we are going, what we are doing, and when it will all take shape. Being a wife and mom I find that security is a major factor in my happiness. It is a challenge to keep this need for security from becoming an idol. Over and over I am being reminded to trust in God through the uncertainty and the waiting. I read a wonderful quote in a recent Notes from Toad Hall which spoke to me. Author Margie Haack writes,

"Thomas Oden writes about the Lord's Prayer and the larger meaning of receiving our daily bread: 'Ultimately the bread we most pray for is the clarity and truthfulness of our own purpose and destiny.' That is what I crave, I'm hungry to understand my purpose, to believe that human finiteness is okay, and to know and believe when God made us to live in daily-ness he said, 'It is good.' I'd like to live with certain clarity that though the day inevitably comes with suffering, it's still good, and I would like to gratefully receive that day with all its shuffling and waiting as a gift." -Margie Haack

My day is filled with the ordinary aspects of being a wife and mom: cleaning, comforting, loving, feeding, etc. That is my job right now, trusting that the Lord will guide us to our eventual next
step. But in the mean time, life is exists in the ordinary, even as we shuffle and wait.

Thanks for coming along with us through this journey, guys. And we'll let you know as new developments take shape.

Matlacha Island

Two weeks ago we visited my parents down in south Florida. We visited Matlacha, a beautiful little fishing village about 20 minutes away from my parents' house. I love visiting this island because while it is so close to my parents, it feels like you have been transported to a completely different place. The clock seems to slow down as you drive over the bridge and enter "island time". Quaint little shops splashed with vivid colors. Shell driveways. Fisherman perched on the many bridges hoping to bring home a fresh catch for dinner. We toured a few galleries to view the work of the many local artists. When it came time for lunch we stopped in at a local fresh seafood market and ordered the absolute best lunch--oyster, shrimp, and scallop po-boy sandwiches. I had these native New Orleans' sandwiches all the time when we lived in the Big Easy...but these were amazing! The outing was a feast for my camera. I couldn't resist but snap some shots of the colorful island shops and scenery. Enjoy!

A typical Matlacha shop.

My beautiful sister thinking deep thoughts at breakfast.

Mom introducing Karis to the north coast of Pine Island.