Moments of greatness

I don't know about you guys but I find that there are moments of greatness that go unnoticed in my home that must be shared with others. I wanted to share a few with you now.

Great scenario #1:
This first scenario is reenacted in our home about once every 2-3 months. It is entirely avoidable, but instead we reenact it because of stubbornness and a need for coffee. It goes like this. Matt is sitting at his computer in the morning. He is perusing over the email, daily news, or whatever computer related business he is working on at the moment. I am somewhere in the house doing my own thing in peace and tranquility....when out of nowhere I hear Matt screaming, "OH NO! HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! GET A TOWELLLLLL!!!" Yes, the delicious black coffee has inevitably spilled on one of his many expensive computer parts. What is even greater in this scenario is my dropping everything I am doing in a split second, dashing towards any region of the house that might have a towel, tripping over 1-2 pieces of furniture, and stumbling into his office to help clean up the mess. With a couple of keyboards, mouse(s), and other parts in the graveyard due to this coffee stubbornness, you would think we would give up this moment of greatness.

Great scenario #2
We have a mouse problem. We live near a huge field and during the cold months, our home is the obvious place for these critters to cozy up. Not cool!...but it has provided some hilarious moments of greatness in our house. Recently Matt awoke from a dead sleep in the middle of the night because he heard something. In good 'Matt the protector' fashion, he rushed out of the room to investigate. He approached the kitchen and realized that the noise was strikingly similar to someone rattling open the door leading to the laundry room, and thus he began yelling obscenities to scare the intruder. It turned out my husband was awakened in the middle of the night, stumbling half-awake into the kitchen, and yelling obscenities....at a mouse stuck in a trap trying to escape behind the stove. Moment of greatness!

Great scenario #3
This is also a mouse related tale, but it pays respect to a mouse, oddly enough. In our effort to catch these critters the last few months we have grown to respect one dearly departed mouse. Most of the mice go down in shame in either a glue trap or traditional snap trap. One mouse received death by snap trap but was a hero going down. We heard a trap go off one night right before bed. Gross as it sounds, we were both exhausted and decided to discard of the little guy in the morning. When we awoke in the morning, the mouse was no where to be found. Even more mysteriously, the trap was missing. Thus began my hunt for the missing mouse. No where in the kitchen. No where in the laundry room next door...until I moved some storage boxes and found the creature. The little guy had dragged himself and the trap nearly 10 feet, squeezing around large objects. He fought all night long. He was a hero.

Great scenario #4
Ok, one more mouse tale. (Like I said, we have a mouse problem!) This one occurred this evening. As I was doing the laundry yesterday, I noticed 'evidence' that a mouse had sneaked into the dirty laundry basket. Using a healthy dosage of bleach, I feverishly began that load of laundry hoping to disinfect the mouse germs. When I went to put the load in the dryer this evening, I found the load wasn't the only thing put through the wash. Just inches away from my fingers was a washed up and drowned mouse. (Note: add drowning to the list of possible ways to get rid of mice!) Needless to say, what brought Matt (and Keller) running into the laundry room on this night was my shrill scream. Ah....Even I have moments of greatness.

Refreshment

Matt and I were really blessed to be able to take the last few days and explore the San Jose area. Last Thursday Matt officially started his vacation and was faithful to "vacate" his responsibilities at the church in search of some much needed rest, relaxation, and unchecked free time to do as he wished. On Sunday we left our area for the trip up north to the San Jose area. Now, our vacation wasn't anything extraordinary, but I have to say it was beautiful in its ordinariness. We spent one night at a beautiful hotel and another night at a stripped down, rustic, freezing-cold lodge. Both of these nights away, while different in the extent of luxury they afforded, granted us 3 whole days of time together without deadlines, work calls, endless hours in front of the computer, and a twelve hour work days. It was awesome. We laughed and each of us realized once again how much we not only love each other but also thoroughly enjoy each other's company.

We spent one night in a cabin at a retreat center just outside of Santa Cruz. It was really wonderful to be surrounded by the beauty of the forest. We went on a hike and saw waterfalls, gigantic pine trees, and incredible views of a mountain creek. What was more amazing was that we were just 10 miles from the Pacific ocean. That is one thing about California that amazes and astounds me. Mountains and forests backing right up to the ocean equal incredible beauty in my mind. I wish you all could experience it some time in your life.


We are looking at 17 weeks with Mattalina, and I have to say I hit a milestone today in the pregnancy. I was sitting at dinner and felt a little gas bubble in the front lower part of my stomach. For those of you who have been pregnant you know this is not gas but the beginning of many movements to come from Mattalina in my belly. It was awesome and I took a moment to sit back in my seat and enjoyed the beauty of a life moving around in me.

I thought I would satisfy the curiosity of some of you out there by posting a pregnancy shot of me at 17 weeks. (I know others of you would rather I didn't :-) ) What can I say...the body becomes rather lumpy during pregnancy and it certainly looks odd during the first 4-5 months. I got some stares at the belly when I first went back to school but I could tell no one felt comfortable saying anything lest the growth be due to gross holiday overeating. Anyhow, here is a shot for you guys. Enjoy!

Happy New Year!

I can't believe a whole month has gone by! It is pretty typical to get uber busy during the holidays, so I will hide behind that tired excuse for why it has been a month since my last update! The first half of the month flew by in the business of working. My job keeps me busy and on my toes as I am faced with new challenges every week. Yet I must say it is nice because I feel as if I know more of what I am doing. I am getting into that routine in a job where I can begin to relax in the routine, but I also want to remain eager and ready to learn new things. I find my job very fulfilling, working with kids as a school counselor. But I also am very aware now of how it is just my job. I worked hard in school and got all this way to land a career in order to realize it is merely that...just a career. My life is more than my career and for that I am thankful. As my baby belly grows, I am reminded of how life is really bigger than any one aspect of our lives. I am a child of God first, before: wife, daughter, mother, counselor, housekeeper, friend.

The second half of the month was many things: ironic, disappointing, fun, trying, fulfilling. I finished up my last day of school on the Thursday before Christmas. Ahh...what bliss I felt having finished up the first half of the school year, and I was so looking forward to relaxing and enjoying my family's arrival on Saturday evening. Friday came and I had some youth girls over to bake cookies. I purposefully put off cleaning our home for Saturday, knowing a day would be plenty of time to make the house ready. Friday night rolled around, and so did a fever...and chills...and a headache. A midnight call to the on call physician lead to an after midnight run to 5 stores looking for a thermometer and tylenol. Matt had not slept well that whole week and was swamped with work because of the Sunday church festivities. Yet, there we were at 1 am searching for an open store. A rough night's sleep and a few hours later, I am throwing up in a trash can and completely miserable. For those of you who know me well you know of the drama of Christmas 2004. It began with throwing up and ended up with a 5 day hospital visit and 30 hours unconscious on Christmas day. So as I sat there unable to keep anything down and pregnant to boot, Matt and I decided to go to the ER for fluids and anti-nausea meds. I sat on the hospital bed angry and bitter that life was repeating itself 2 years later (family coming, Christmastime, me in the ER). It turns out I had strep throat (undoubtedly contracted from one of my students). Well, good friends and an understanding family helped us during this frustrating time. Brooke stayed with me at the hospital while Matt went home and sped cleaned the house. Our other friend Linda took me home and got prescriptions filled. My family doctored me back to health over the next week without showing too much disappointment over my condition. Really my family was so gracious, and it sure helps that they can be entertained by sitting around and talking for hours!

Around Wednesday I began to get some energy back. Thursday I took my family on a tour of Morro Bay. We saw the elephant seals, ate at an awesome outdoor fish market, and rode up the coast to the mountains. They loved the scenery, and I loved feeling alive again. On Friday we took them on a whirlwind tour of San Fransisco. It's always fun to take people to see the city sites. I am really thankful for the time I had with them, and I have even been a little depressed since they left. It is always hard to see family go. I am not good with transitions.

In baby news, I am 15 weeks now. My belly is beginning to pop and feel a little heavier every day. I am so grateful that the baby has seemed to survive my recent illnesses like a champ...it just speaks to me of God's sovereignty. He will grow this baby regardless of my condition or fears. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday. It is probably still too early to tell the sex but hopefully we will hear the heartbeat. I hope in another month we'll get to know if Mattalina will be wearing pink or blue. We have some names picked out, and I am pretty excited about them. They have significance to me. For a boy we are liking Asher Michael and for a girl we are keen on Karis Alina. Karis is Greek for grace (of which I feel it is only by God's abundant grace we will raise this human life) and Asher is Hebrew for happy or fortunate (of which I feel describes Mattalina's father, God's gift to me). So we shall see...these names are still in the works.

Well, that is all for now, folks. I just have to say the picture up at top was taken on Sunday. Matt and I came home from Church and realized we matched, even with our doggie. We don't normally walk around matching each other. Happy New Year!

Shake, rattle, and roll....

We're official...Californians, that is! Matt and I survived our first earthquake this week. On Monday night we were hanging out when we heard a slight rattling of the windows followed by a loud crashing sound similar to what you might expect to hear if a large truck passes by your house and then veers and runs right into your house. The earthquake was a 4.1 on the scale which is considered merely "light." Bummer...I was scared by the "light" one--I can't wait for the serious one! I know earthquakes come with the territory, but I gotta say I am no friend to earthquakes. But all the locals assure me that I will get used to these strange geological occurences. We'll see.

In other news, I had my first doctor's visit yesterday. It was pretty standard as I imagine the first appointment of the first pregnancy is for any woman in the US. I was hoping that the appointment would contain more "evidence" of life swimming in my belly, but alas we were given the run down of all the genetic and developmental abnormalities/diseases our baby could have and what test we should have to determine if the baby has it. Matt and I looked at each other after each one thinking, "Well, even if Mattalina has xyz what difference does that make?" Well, rest assured the nurse practicioner saw that exchanged look and shared that early detection gives you "options." One of said options that she mentioned at least 2 times was termination! I was shocked and astounded. I know abortion is legal in America, but I was not prepared for my OB doctor to mention (I dare say even promote) the idea of it in my pregnancy visits. That took me by surprise.

The doctor tried to locate the sound of the heartbeat, but she said the baby needed about 3 more weeks and then we could hear the rapid heartbeat of the tiny one. I'll admit, I was praying I would be able to hear the heartbeat. So far the only proof I have had of life in my belly is 2 pink lines and some nausea. I am ready for more satisfying proof. But I prayed to God, as the doctor put the doppler machine away, that I would trust in him to grow this baby. That is my prayer in these early months when I cannot feel or see my baby...I know Mattalina is in God's hands.

Well, that is all the news for now. Matt and I are headed to the store to shop for the 2nd Annual Charlie Brown Christmas Party for the youth group we are hosting tomorrow night. Should be fun and festive. Have a great weekend, all.

On Thanksgiving and other things...

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all! We have had an eventful last few weeks since my last post. I entered a grueling two weeks of constant nausea and morning sickness following my last post. I barely made it through each counseling session with the kids, but through constant prayer for God's strength and moments of relief, I have made it through that bad stretch of morning sickness. I still battle it now but it seems to be more manageable through constant snacking and taking rest breaks.

The first of our wonderful holidays guests are here. Matt's parents arrived Monday, and Matt and I met them down at the Los Angeles airport. We then spent the next two days touring Los Angeles and San Diego. It was a lot of fun seeing those parts of California that were new to all of us! We went to the San Diego zoo and enjoyed the world famous experience. The pictures posted are all from that zoo adventure. It has been wonderful to have family around for the holiday. It makes it truly feel like a holiday. We were back at our home for the Thanksgiving feast of steak and bake potatoes. We were all exhausted from our trip and decided to have a quick and good meal we could all chip in to make. I woke up with green bean casserole on my mind--which is weird because I normally don't wake up with any food on my mind these days except the prayer that I will be able to squeeze some measly crackers down my throat. So I proudly sauntered out of bed and announced I wanted green bean casserole along with our steak dinner that night. Well, the ingredients were purchased, the casserole prepared and baked, and come dinner time, a healthy portion doled out onto my plate. What then, you ask? I could barely stand to look at the stuff! Ahhh, the finecky stomach of the first trimester. I slinked into my bed to rest off the nausea in sheer embarassment over my "green bean" failure! I think Matt and his parents laughed or perhaps they were annoyed but were gracious enough not to show it!

Without a moment to spare on this western trip, Matt and his parents were off to tour San Fransisco on Friday. They stayed the night in a fancy hotel, rode a street car, drove over the golden gate, visited Fisherman's wharf, and ate at our all time favorite Chinese Restaurant. I decided to stay back and rest. The San Diego/LA trip took it out of me. Speaking of taking it out of me, I have found these last few weeks of pregnancy to be quite the learning experience for me. I feel the Lord changing me and sanctifying me in ways so deep and good that I hardly know how to express it. It has been hard having my body belong to someone else. This new little person is causing my body to lose it's sense of independence, stamina, hunger, etc. So far pregnancy has taken so much from me. I cannot go one hour without feeling so gross, and that is hard for me. I adore food. I am a huge foodie, and pregnancy has caused me to despise the smell of my kitchen (even when nothing is cooking I can't stand to be in there). My body is already starting to change and some clothes are beginning to be too tight. So where does the sanctification part come in? Well as I think about these inconveniences and the stolen sense of control over my time, body, emotions I am lead to think that this is merely just the beginning of a long road of giving of myself for my child. Sure, I am called to do this in my marriage but it takes on a different reality with child bearing. Once this child is born I will be caring for the constant needs of that child. I will have to "steal" moments to tend to myself. That is such a hard reality for me!!! I am big on personal space, independence, control. Yet, deep down inside I feel this joyful sense that God is refining me, and the experience of motherhood is yet another one of His tools. It's that sense of the old, sinful, self-serving part of me being torn away and the new self becoming more glorious.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Enjoy the shots!

Moo

Grazing is the new way of life for me, it seems. I am 6.5 weeks along in this pregnant journey and so far no symptoms, until today. Nausea has hit me, and it seems the only way to prevent it is to maintain a steady act of eating....little bits of food all day long. I am already tired of eating and thinking about eating. But tonight as we settled into our seats at the movie theater and I began to feel a sense of panic about being locked in a row of people without any food to graze on, I realized that I should get used to this way of life... One that is always concerned with the essentials (food, sleep, and the toilet). Once MattAlina arrives then will begin my journey of making sure all those essentials are met for him/her. What a journey this is and totally life- changing. I am really enjoying it. I have also realized what a calling motherhood is....the other day I looked at Matt in all seriousness and asked him if he was jealous and sad he didn't get to carry this child. After laughing he looked at me very dumbfounded and said emphatically, "UH, no! For starters, it's not even possible." I had an odd moment of sympathy and sadness for him that he misses out on this intimate connection, but then I realized that a lot of girls feel called to this journey from the moment they begin holding baby dolls. What a crazy and fun time!

Big News!

Well, it's official. Two pink lines equal a little bundle of joy arriving to our home in 9 months. We can hardly believe it and are beside ourselves with joy. I will write more later, but I wanted to make the official internet announcement. Keep us and little "mattalina" in your prayers as he/she is the size of a sesame seed and developing some very important body parts this week. I am so glad we have nine months to get used to the idea of raising a human being. Yikes and Yippee, all at the same time!

Intern numbers and holiday visitors

There have been many new things going on in my life recently. For starters, Matt and I have started a community group in our home. We've invited friends from church and other places. It is still small and we hope that it will grow into a group that welcomes people from all walks of life, people who have a relationship with Jesus, those who are just curious, and everything in between. It has been interesting embarking on the small group journey, never knowing who will show up or how the evening will go. It has caused me to give up control and just let things develop as God leads them. As you think of us, please pray that this small group with develop as we seek Christ and his kingdom.

The other new thing in my life is my new job, as I have shared previously. I love this job! I find it so rewarding. I get to be that adult that is excited to see the kids and make them feel like they are the most important thing in my day. Their faces light up when I walk in their classrooms---seriously, it doesn't get any better than that! Some have told me how happy they feel when they talk about the "secret things," and I know what a privilege it is to listen to their broken lives and be a caring and listening adult. On a further note of praise, I received something very important and long expected today in the mail. I have been waiting with baited breath the last four months to get my intern number which allows me to start billing hours towards licensure. For most of you this won't make much sense, but rest assured it was a major hoop that I jumped through. God has allowed my counseling career to blossom in tremendous ways in the last month and a half. To commemorate the thrill of the white envelop sitting in my mailbox waiting for me to discover it, I took a picture with the official slip stating I am now a marriage and family therapist intern in the state of California. I know it's kind of goofy. I was left wondering why I always get "fat-face" when my picture is taken.

On to holiday news, Matt and I are excited about the arrival of family over the next few months. His parents are coming for Thanksgiving and mine are coming for Christmas. We are so thrilled to have family making the long trek to see us and what our lives are like out here. Yay for holidays spent with family! I also followed up on a book tag I received months ago from two of my sisters in law. Sorry Kelly and Megan it has taken so long. Here is the book tag I promised I would complete.

1. A book that changed your life: The Ragamuffin Gospel (Brennan Manning). This book was an incredible and risky dive into the depths of grace. Radically changed my faith during college!

2. Book you’ve read more than once: Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (Mary Pipher). This is such a good resource for parents, youth pastors, teenagers, anybody who has ever been an adolescent girl, had an adolescent sister or dated a woman who was once an adolescent girl. (I think that covers everyone.)

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: One of those trick books that when you open it up has the inside carved out so that there is room for objects. What would be the objects you ask? A satelite phone, a compass, and one of my Dad's famous rolls that as kids we all thought we could live off of for a week because they were so dense.

4. A book that made you laugh: I haven't been in the habit of reading books that make me laugh...maybe I should.

5. A book that made you cry: Ragamuffin Gospel, again.

6. One book you wish had been written: The Answers to Alina's Teenage Years Dilemmas, by God.

7. One book you wish had never been written: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Dr. Laura Schlesinger). [Puke, gag, blech]

8. Book you’re currently reading: I actually just finished a book called White Oleander (Janet Finch). I am loving the newfound pleasure and relaxation to be found in reading for fun and not for assignment. This didn't turn out to be a lighthearted, relaxing read, but it did further stir my passion and desire to adopt a child one day.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Swan (Francis Mayes, author of Under the Tuscan Sun).

Waffle House part duex

Sunday we had our second installment of the waffle house tradition. The batter was more easily prepared, table set in advance, waffle iron put out fewer waffle gems. All in all, this edition of the waffle house was smoother. We thought through ways to make it more convenient so that we wouldnt become burnt out so easily on this feast. It was a lot of fun and it seems to be a hit among people, even if it is carb-overload.

Things have been going well here at the homestead. Matt is hard at work starting his computer business, on top of the work her does for the church. It is a busy time of life for him, and quite honestly it probably wont slow down for him anytime soon. He is such a hard worker, and I immensely admire his determination so much. We have been attacking our debts with a vengeance and it is really starting to get us excited at the prospect of becoming debt-free in the next couple of years. My counseling job is getting off to a slow start as I wait for the parental consent forms to trickle in to my school mailbox. I saw my first student on Tuesday and I loved it. I was a little nervous going into it being that it was my first time. But the student was adorable. He didnt speak very good English so I had to rely on my rusty Spanish. The session looked more like an episode out of Spanglish. It was soooo fun. I am really motivated to learn Spanish this year. Matt and I both want to. Our area is 30% hispanic and we feel it is an inevitable fact of life that we must be bilingual. We have both been wanting to become fluent for some time but recently felt the necessity. We have some elderly neighbors who are Colombian who we are going to ask if we could come over once a week to converse with over a cup of coffee and practicar mi espanol. Another motivation would be the ability to talk with my grandmother and grandfather, both of whom know very little English.

Well, that is all for now. It is hard for me to post without an accompanying picture, but I have none to share. And for some reason my apostrophe key wont work--my grammar efficient mind can barely stand it. Have a great day!

In love with Autumn

I don't know about you guys but every season that hits I think, "I love this season. It is definitely my favorite." Oh but what an unfaithful person I am because that next season hits and I abondon my true love and claim my new favorite in that season. Well, once again, I have decided fall is my absolute favorite season. Here in California it is quite a bit more muted than on the east coast. Things here actually get more brown than they normally are and eventually turn green in the winter. It's backwards, and yet I am growing accomstomed to its unfamiliar beauty. The temperature has dropped some and that gorgeous golden sun is casting its rays. I also love how fall brings the anticipation of all things scheduled and busy (i.e. school, holidays, etc.).

But I am also enjoying my fall for more reasons than I just mentioned. Many of you know how difficult my job has been for me (6,000 miles put on my car in 2.5 short months, overnight watches of assaultive children, schedule changing at the drop of a hat). On top of these stresses, I just found myself feeling like I wasn't liking what I was doing. The job required me to do things that felt outside of my realm of passion, gifts, likes, training. But it was what the Lord provided for me, and I was thankful for the job and income I could provide. About 3 weeks ago, after probably the worst day yet on the job, I got a random phone call about a position I had applied for 6 months prior. It was an internship with 2 elementary schools located 1-2 miles from my doorstep providing counseling. Long story short, I am now a school counselor 25 hours a week and I still do 10 hours with my old job working with clients I already know and have a relationship with. Throughout the interview process, I couldn't believe how wonderful this position sounded to me. From my love for little children, my desire to work in a neutral environment like a school setting, my desire to do actual therapy, and the prime location, I prayed Hannah's prayer that God would give me this desire of my heart and help me if he didn't. God did give me this, and here I am getting hours for my Marriage and Family Therapy Lisence and gaining awesome experience. I am still in awe of God's blessing on my life, and I wanted to share my joy with you all. God does answer prayers, and in this case his answer was "Wait for it...wait for it...ok, here you go [a long, hard year later]." There were so many times I was angry at God for not providing me with a counseling job. I expected I would easily find a position once I had my master's degree. Well, a lot more hard work and humility was to come my way before I would land this awesome position. I am grateful for God's hand in all of this, and once again I see the beauty of trusting in Him.

Changing the subject slightly, Matt and I just spent the weekend with the youth group camping at a nearby lakesite campground. It was a nice transition point for me from the old work schedule to the new schedule. I love taking a few days to live outdoors around a campfire. It was nice and chilly throughout the weekend, making the campfire a thing of beauty. I snapped a few shots and thought I'd share the highlights with you. Hope all are well. Thanks for holding out for the update.

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Waffle House

Matt and I decided to start a tradition here at our church: once a month we are going to have 10 people over for waffles after church. Today was the inaugeral Kodatt Waffle House Brunch! We have wanted to have some sort of regular meal where we could host people in a rather casual manner. What inspired the waffle idea is our waffle maker--by far the nicest kitchen item we received for our wedding (it retails at Williams Sonoma for $100). For the first five years of our marriage we have pulled out this pricey item maybe 4 times total. A couple of weeks ago we were talking about this unused machine and decided we should make it earn its keep here. So dusting it off, heating it up, and setting the table with all the toppings, we were off... having our pastor and his family of 8 over for a carb-overloaded feast. So maybe we made too much batter and the eggs were a little tough and the bacon took a while and made a mess--but all in all, this is a Kodatt tradition from this day forward. These are some pictures snapped from the day (aren't I looking marmish in my apron?)--I meant to snap some shots of the feast but the feast itself took all my attention.

A bear scratched me today!

Yeah, it's true! A bear was licking my arm and it scratched me as I tried to get away. It was all part of a tour that Matt and I took at a zoo about 5 minutes from our house that takes endangered, unwanted, confiscated animals from all over the US. We saw literally lions and tigers and bears! The monkeys were a fun attraction, and I had a lemur crawl all over my shoulders and dig in my purse. Fun times. A friend who I worked with at Starbucks who also works full time at Zoo to You gave an exclusive tour for us employees (and former employees like myself). On my days off I love doing these sorts of things which are fun and out of the ordinary of my regular schedule. I have Sundays and Mondays off. Sunday often feels like a work day with church, and so Monday is my day to do whatever I want. This isn't something you would hear from most working people, but I dare to say it: God, Thank you for Mondays!

Broken

This week I realized how broken everything is. Things, relationships, people are not as they should be. I spent some time with a foster child this week and as soon as I was done with the contact I got in my car and immediately started to put on some soothing jazz music. I had rolled down the windows, put on delightful/light/problem-free music, and began daydreaming of the delicious meal I would make to warm my belly and satisfy my hunger. As I rode home I realized what I was doing...running from the brokenness of that child's life and circumstances. I was trying to air out my car of the misfortune, neglect, and abuse that this child has seen in one short lifetime. Once I realized my sad attempt (to feel as if this world is right) wasn't working I just sat there, and allowed myself to take a mental and emotional bath in the broken reality of this world.

Yeah, this job is going to be hard, no doubt about it. People in the social work "business" speak
of leaving work problems at work. Sure...if there exists a button in your brain that helps you compartmentalize your experiences, then good for you. I personally haven't found that button to be easily accessible. Outside of our back door we have an emergency light that comes on when people approach at night. It has two big lights on it that shine in opposite directions. I have looked at that light and thought it is big enough to hang my problems on before I come in after a broken day's work. But honestly, some days it just doesn't seem big enough to mentally afix my work burdens on. Other day's I glide right past that light and spend the evening preparing dinner or doing whatever evening activities with a light heart not thinking about my day.

Honestly I am really thankful for those days when I don't think about work after hours. On the one hand, I don't want to become hardened to the reality of this brokenness like some crusted old shell of a social worker, unaffected by the nastiness of many children's experiences. On the other hand I have got to learn to compartmentalize. What I am doing is glorious in a small way--giving dignity, kindness, and normalcy to these children's lives in the form of a ride, conversation, activity in the community. But here is the best part....I am not God. Bingo! There it is...that is key to how I can compartmentalize. I can give a small piece of love and kindness and be a part of God's GRAND, HUMONGOUS, CERTAIN plan of redemption. So here I go, sent out like an army soldier with a seemingly small mission that is part of a grand scheme. And when I come home at night, I can hang my day's work on that light knowing that this world is broken and I can both cry about it and then come inside, trust Jesus, and go on with my life.

Matt, the incredible!

So I believe my husband is a superhero. Let me paint you a picture to explain why. Matt calls me while I am driving home from work at around 6:30 this evening. I am tired, thirsty, and hungry, and I readily dump these three facts on him in a slightly complaining manner (what can I say...it was a long day!). We chat a few minutes and then hang up. Twenty-five minutes later I roll up the drive way and come to a stop thinking about all the stuff I need to lug out of the car and carry into the house when I hear the back door of the house shut. Running feverishly towards me is my husband, a tall glass of water in one hand, a banana in the other hand, and very panicked look on his face. As soon as he reaches me he shoves the water in my hand and the banana in my mouth all the while saying, "Hurry, hurry!" Once I finished almost choking on the banana from laughing so hard I thanked him for being so awesome and thoughtful in meeting my "dire hunger and thirst needs". Often he will come out and greet me in the driveway when I drive up after a hard days work. Wow! I love him for his superhero powers of cheering me up and showing me that I am loved.

P.S. This picture of Matt was taken last week on the 4 day hike that he led. He and 3 other leaders took 11 kids into the Sierras Mountains and all returned to speak of it!

Five weeks overdue

Well it has certainly been a busy five weeks since I last posted. You might imagine the new job would be to blame...and you are right. Lots of training and driving have consumed many hours of my time in the last month. It has been wonderful to be employed, getting a paycheck, and gaining new knowledge. The job has its ups and downs, but most of all I am thankful for the blessing of a job.

A few weeks ago Matt and I went camping with the church. We stayed on a site with a family, and we had a wonderful time with them. They have a little girl who is very shy, and Matt made it his personal mission to gain her affection. By the end of the trip, this was the closest he got to her (see picture below.)


Well, we are off to enjoy our day off. More to come later on the last month's adventures of Matt and Alina.

That's Vegas, Baby!

I can't tell you how many times I heard people saying that phrase as we walked along the Las Vegas strip. We just got back this afternoon, and we will admit that although it was nice to get away, we didn't enjoy Las Vegas all that much. We are really glad that we went and saw the city with all its glitz and glamour. It is such a cultural icon. But we will be glad if we never go again. The accomodations were great (we stayed in the pyramid hotel, The Luxor). The lights were every bit as sparkly as you could imagine, and the strip was much larger than we expected. Yet we were overwhelmed by the decadence and beckoning to live lavishly which the city calls to all its visitors. But then again, "That's Vegas, Baby"! Recently we have begun to think very seriously about getting out of debt, all our debt (yup, even the monster school debts). So to be in a town that screams at you to spend your money on pleasure, we found ourselves becoming more and more excited about living simply and getting out of debt. Considering how much it sharpened our motivation, I guess you could say we went to Vegas at a good time.

One thing I did really enjoy visiting was the Bellagio Hotel, the one from the movie Ocean's 11. We walked through the hotel lobby and stared in wonder at the amazing decadence of it all. We also got to enjoy the fountain show out front (the fountains light up and are choreographed to songs from Celine Deon, Sinatra, and Pavaroti). That was incredible.

It was also interesting to go to the desert. It is sooo hot, as you might imagine. When we went to the Hoover Dam, it must have been 110-120 degrees. Being there made me really appreciate how much I am not in the desert here in Paso, no matter how brown it may appear to me. All in all, it was a good getaway, and we are glad to be back to our lives of healthy simplicity. I also start my new job on Monday...exciting! I'll leave you with some photos from the trip.

This picture is of the Paris Hotel and the Bally's Casino Hotel.

Here is Matt looking rather like the guys in Ocean 11 after they pull off the Bellagio heist.

Here we are at the Hoover Dam.

To give you some depth perspecitve, on the left hand side of the dam wall under the roof is where Matt took the picture of me. It's a big dam.

Leaving Las Vegas

Actually, we are leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow morning, bright and early at 5 am to make it through the desert before the afternoon heat hits. Matt and I are celebrating my last day at Starbucks today and my new job which begins on Monday. For those who haven't heard, I got a job doing social work. I found out a few weeks ago that I got the job and the last couple of weeks have been so full of peace and rest. Knowing that I have a job and don't have to continue looking, searching, interviewing, and stressing about the job search has been such a relief. Most of you know how difficult this job search has been, and I look back over the last 11 months and I wonder why God took me down this long and rough path. But I do see blessings in this difficult time I have been through. I stand in a position now of excitement and hope and eager motivation to begin my new job and to work hard at it. I know much of this attitude has been produced from the refinement of the last year of frustration. So here we go, Matt and I, embarking on a two income journey for a while. We are celebrating with our trip to Las Vegas, on a shoe-string budget. I hope to have fun pictures when we return. I am excited about the relaxation and the "get away". Off to the desert we go.

Father's Day, a little late

I meant to post this on Sunday, but had trouble uploading all of the pictures, but since today is my Dad's birthday I thought I would troubleshoot through the picture issues to bring you this post I began writing on Sunday.

"Sunday in church one of the elder's talked about Father's Day as a day that people feel one of three emotions: celebration, anger, or indifference. These emotions are in response to our relationship with our fathers, the earthly one. He spoke of these emotions in conjunction with forgiveness and asking God, our heavenly father, to give us forgiving hearts towards our fathers. I sat in church in a row with people who all feel a good bit of all three emotions towards their fathers, and I was moved to tears. I am thankful for my father, and although no relationship is perfect, and I am grateful for the man that God has made my father to be. One thing I love in particular about my father is that he prays for me every single day and he reminds me of that every time I speak with him. Thanks for your faithfulness, Dad. I love you.


Matt and I were in a celebratory mood on Sunday afternoon and so we took our only dependent (I can't quite cross the line to call her a child) to the beach and it was great fun! Matt and I joke about how Keller thinks she is the most important girl in Matt's life. I thought these were some fun pictures of Keller and her daddy. :-) P.S. I hope that posting all of these pictures of Keller doesn't cause me to cross the line into "doggy dork-dom"...you know, 'the speaking of one's pets as if they were beloved human children.' But....she is precious and maaaaaybe sometimes we wish she could talk to us. Yikes!

Can I get an Amen?!

Matt preached his first sermon this Sunday, and it went great. I was so proud of him being that it was his first sermon ever! There was a time not too long ago when Matt never wanted to work for a church again, much less be the guy up front preaching. He never considered preaching to be something he would be good at. But with some healing, a lot of work, and the Holy Spirit, Matt brought a message to the church this week. A lot of people had encouraging things to say to him afterwards. Today he received a postcard in the mail which said how much they were blessed by the sermon and can see how God has gifted him. I share this with you guys to share the amazing work of what God is doing in my husband's life. I prayed for years for healing and a sense of direction for Matt. We don't always see it happening, but it is beautiful when Jesus lets us watch that process. The picture above was taken on Sunday at a friend's house after the sermon.

Andrew's visit

It's been too long! No, really...we must catch up! The month of May goes on record as being a hard month in my books. I don't want to expound upon it much tonight as it is getting late and I am exhausted, but I did want to make a reappearance as a blogger. I find it impossible to blog when I am having a hard time, in part because I don't want to sound like Eyor (sp? the gloomy donkey on Winnie the Pooh) but also because I tend to feel very uninspired during hard times and I usually only write when I'm inspired. So here I go getting back on the blogging saddle again! I did want to post some pictures from my brother Andrew's visit to California. He has been here since Monday and is leaving on Saturday. It is nothing short of delicious to have family and old friends visit us all the way out here on the west coast, so I don't take these kind of visits for granted. I hope to write more about what is going on in our lives, but until then I wanted to leave you with these pictures of our week thus far. Have a great weekend.


Behold my California husband, donning his west coast tan and new glasses and new weight loss--he is awesome, dropping 15 lbs. in just one month.




I love this picture of Andrew and Matt looking out on Pacific together. The picture melts my heart! These are two very special boys in my life!