Auntie Alina and Uncle Matt

This post is a long time overdue!!! We are the proud aunt and uncle of two precious neices! We cannot wait to meet both of the precious daughters of our brothers. Peter, my brother, and his wife Erica have a beautiful three month old daughter named.....Alina Beth. I cannot believe it...there is a third generation Alina in the family. I am so proud and I am chomping at the bit to meet her. Secondly, we are thrilled to be meeting Evelyn Grace next month when we visit Florida. Evie was born two weeks ago today to Matt's bro, Ben, and his wife Megan. When thinking about these precious lives that are entrusted in the care of our beloved siblings, we are longing to be nearer to family. This is the hard part of being trailblazers and adventurous people willing to live on the other side of the country from the rest of our families. My worst fear is that I will be known as "that aunt that lives in California." I want to be a part of their lives and have a personal relationship with Alina Beth and Evie. I believe it is possible, regardless of the miles separating us. I have included some pictures of the precious neices. Congratulations Peter and Erica....please visit us very soon! I am waiting!!!! Ben and Megan and Evie...we'll see you guys in one month...we can't wait!

Alina Beth Hansinger (3rd generation Alina in the family). I mean, come on...can you get any cuter?!?

Mother and daughter...Erica is holding Alina Beth after her ears were pierced. Peter said Alina Beth smiled a huge smile when he took her to a mirror to see her new earrings.

Proud Papa Ben with their 5 week premature Evelyn Grace. She is a beauty, looking very much like Daddy in these early pictures. Sorry, Ben...in a round about way I called you a beauty.

A close up of Evie....such a trooper.

Here is Megan at her baby shower the day before she gave birth. It turns out that Megan was in labor at the baby shower. Doesn't she look radiant and beautiful here, not one bit in labor!?!?

Ordinary glory

I am usually so excited to post when I have pictures to accompany my thoughts and stories, but I had to convince myself it was ok to post without the visual aids to accompany the words.

I had a good day, and I just wanted to share a little bit about it. I enjoyed church this morning. We had our congregational meeting to talk about the vision for the church for the year. I had been dreading this meeting due to some hesitation, and I will admit even bitterness, towards our being in the ministry. I had been dreading the moment when the pastoral staff and families would be asked to leave while the rest of the church discussed our salary, in detail. Lately I have been battling in my heart over the financial struggles that we accepted when we entered the ministry. But, as the pastor preached in the service about the vision of our church to expand the kingdom of God, I felt frost begin to melt around my heart. And when the moment came when we were asked to leave, Matt and I joined the other two pastors and their wives in the lobby where one of the pastors asked us all to pray for a woman who was visiting from a church in Oklahoma that is undergoing a nasty split. So while the rest of the church was discussing our salary, I was a part of the ministry team in the lobby praying for a woman I have never met and her church which I have never visited. I felt a part of something powerful and called by God, not excluded and placed on display for others to pick apart my private life, which I had expected to feel like. God has called us to a life of giving of ourselves, and the truth of the matter is that it is not just Matt and I that are called to selflessness. Everyone is called to die to themselves. Matt and I are just called to a particular kind that is officially labeled "ministry". And by the way, I found out that while we were out in the lobby, the elders announced to the congregation that Matt was brought on full time this month with a full time salary, and the whole church errupted with clapping. That is love, not nosey prodding.

Tonight we had a youth leader meeting, and it was so fun to laugh and think hard with these people who I already love so much! We came up with the phrase "the fun people in the church are youth leaders"! It is so wonderful to be in ministry that flows out of your gifts and personality, and Matt and I feel that way about youth ministry. As soon as we stray from our hearts and personal calling and try to make youth ministry something contrived, it ceases to be genuine and passionate. So in the midst of what has felt like a tough month and a half, I was so blessed by the ordinary glory of today.

Ok, so I couldn't resist giving you some eye candy....being able to post my photography so easily is one of the things I love most about blogger. Here is a picture that I took of myself in the mirror on our road trip/move out to California.


This second picture is one that I took in Brooke's backyard of one of the many amazing California sunsets. This area has the most amazing and clear sunsets!!


One last picture...I also loved the way this flower turned out. It was perfectly facing the sun and so perfectly posed for a shot. I love how flowers don't squint in the sunlight!

The snow-capped Sierra mountains

Matt and I got back yesterday from a youth retreat to Sierra Summit, a 7,000 foot mountain in the Sierra range about 4 hours east of us. Now, I have seen snow before, but never anything like this. We got there and the roads were clear, but there was a 3 foot wall of snow on either side of the road. That was my first clue that I wasn't in Tennessee or Missouri snow country anymore. The next morning we woke up to a georgous view of the snow gently falling on the pine trees and it continued to snow all day. By the time we left, there was probably 5 feet of snow on the ground! Who knew that just four hours from steamy Paso Robles it could snow like I imagine it snows in Canada?!?! We had a great weekend hanging out with the students and growing in our friendships and love for them.

Matt did a fantastic job with his talks, and I myself even benefitted from the the "retreating." It was a good time to sit back and reflect on the goodness and power of God in my life. I read through some Psalms that talk of His power and holiness, and I was reminded of how small I am compared to Him. I must trust and submit to His will for my life...those are hard but beautiful truths for me to meditate on. I thought of this in regards to my job, particularly. Please pray for me because I am feeling very strongly about looking for something more in my field. I really desire to do something more fulfilling, and I am not totally sure what that looks like, but I know that the Lord does and has it all planned out. I am excited to see what the future holds.

Here are some pictures of the weekend.


In this picture if you look closely at the mountains in the background, you will see the snow caps. We were up in those mountains.


So cold and gray...a fun break from the happy and faithful sun in Paso Robles.

Matt is a better man than I am...I would never have agreed to allow pictures of myself like this be posted. He said "I don't care!" His "Deliverance" style appearance was due to a rousing and popular game of sock hockey in the cabin.

If you are ever looking for Matt, check out any place where other guitar-playing fools are gathered and you will most likely find him there!

Pismo Beach with the camera and a 30 ft. leash

Yesterday, a friend from work and I headed to a little cafe in Pismo Beach where they sell world-famous clam chowder. We grabbed our bread bowls and chowder-to-go and we headed down to the boardwalk, she with her baby and me with my dog in tow. It was fantastic. After eating, I headed down to the beach, with Keller on the 30 foot leash, hoping to catch some shots of the setting sun. Although at times it was a challenge to manage Keller, who only had thoughts of investigating all the coastal smells and bounding around on the sand, I was able to steal a few shots with my camera of the Pismo scene at dusk. It was invigorating, and I think these shots capture the beauty of the central coast in all its surfing, crashing waved beauty.

Beloved!

Lately, I have forgotten that I am the beloved of God. I love the phrase beloved because it gives me the feeling of being curled up in a ball riding around in God's pocket--loved and secure. These past few weeks I have been given many reminders that I am indeed the beloved of God--sometimes the reminders have been obvious and wonderful and at other times they have been painful and received with kicking and pouting. While at home I must remind myself I am beloved. While at work I must remind myself I am beloved. No matter what I do, God breaks through and reminds me I am beloved (whether it is throug Matt's constant love and forgiveness or my Mom and sister's phone calls and amazing mailed treats). I love this picture of Keller from a few days ago. She has discovered the warmth of the California sun, and she cannot get enough of it. This picture was taken of her while she was outside basking in the golden rays, and I couldn't help but snap a shot of her in her contentedness. She has recently realized she is beloved by us and can freely bask in our love, and it shows in her expression here. Such a simple reminder to me of how I am beloved. If we love a dog and want her to be free and loved, how much more my Creator wants this for me!

Kelly and Brooke--here it is!

I can't believe it has been two weeks since Christmas. I have had so much going on in my heart and mind not to mention my daily activities. I will catch up at a better time this weekend (when I am not needing to be at work in 20 minutes with very little done to call me prepared to walk out the door!). I wanted to just leave a little something for you, especially Kelly and Brooke who absolutely flattered me by telling me they have missed my posts (I love you!). Yeah for regular readers! I'll leave you for now with a picture from Matt's birthday party last week.

Merry Christmas to our families!

Merry Christmas to you all! Although we can't be with you all in person, we took these pictures to express our greetings to you. Online Christmas greetings...they are the best we can do for now!
Hi family...I wish we were in Baltimore sitting in Erica and Pete's wonderful home holding the precious Alina Beth and catching up with you all. Have a wonderful Christmas together.


We love you guys, and we so wish we could be there to open up the couple's gifts and santa presents with you guys. Have a Merry Christmas!

Last night was the Christmas Eve service at church that Matt planned and played for. he asked me yesterday if I would join him, and gladly I piped in my alto voice. One woman remarked that I was looking awefully jazzy. Ahh....such touching words to my soul!!! :-) Call me vain or just a "wanna-be Diana Krall" ...but I loved being up front and singing with Matt. This is my reinactment with a remote control standing in as a microphone. I am a complete dork, I know.

Ipods and Cookies!

On Tuesday the suspense got to be too great for me to handle. So, after Matt dropped off his last coursework at the post office to officially complete his seminary degree, I gave him his birthday present (a week early)! He loved it...the new video ipod!!! Thanks to all you family members who pitched in to make it a special 30th year present! I took some shots of him enjoying the goods...this is his impression of the ipod commercials.

We have been having a pretty ordinary week leading up to Christmas. I am so thankful to be staying here, even though it is going to be so sad not to be with my and Matt's families. We are just so thankful that we can have a peaceful (and fully conscious) Christmas together. After the drama of last Christmas when I was hospitalized, I consider it a privilege to be alive and with my husband. We are so thoroughly looking forward to coming in February, though, to meet Peter and Erica's baby girl Alina Beth and Ben and Megan's girl Evelyn--our two beautiful and special nieces. Auntie Alina and Uncle Matt cannot wait!!!

I also had a great time hanging out last night with a friend from church named Rachel who is a very fun and incredibly bright 11 year old. We made gingerbread and sugar cookies together. Then we started writing a story together about two Narnian horses named Veronica and Luke. We are going to write the story in a journal, each taking turns with the journal every week and adding to the story. God has really been answering my prayers for relationships with people whom I can be blessed by and whom I can bless. Rachel is definitely one of them.

We are going to church on Christmas morning, and then we are having lunch with our pastor and his family. I am looking forward to that! It will also be fun to spend Christmas morning with Matt. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. Send me some pictures of your celebrations, if you can, and I will post some pictures of ours!

The OTHER woman in Matt's life!

So I caught them in the act! I found them cuddling, and I even found Matt serenading her!! And yes, it's official, Matt and I are going to be those parents that send out pictures of our children all the time! :-) We have spent the last week feeling like new parents, doting over the needs of our new dog. We have gotten to know our local pet store workers so that now they look at us and can remember exactly what kind of dog we own! It is interesting how much having a new pet is like having a new child...we have to remind ourselves that we need to spend time alone. In Matt's words, she is like a vacuum...a love vacuum. And even though we haven't quite figured out her personality, and even though we think she might have a slight case of doggy depression, we are so thrilled with her!

Play me a song, you're the piano man...

My last few posts have been full of pictures about things all around me, but I have realized there has been a decided lack of pictures of Matt and myself. As I was contemplating this, Matt tells me that Mimi (a friend of ours that Matt worked with) told him that she wants to see more pictures of him on my blog. So, Mimi, this one is for you...and all of you who agree with Mimi. I wanted to show you guys a picture of Matt's piano performance debut. As many of you know, an ordinary weekend in July 2004, an extraordinary man picked up a book on how to learn piano in a flash. That man, my one and only husband, learned to play the piano that weekend; and he has been a playing fool since then. Tonight was the first time he performed in front of people. And he wanted me to make sure to tell you all that he "played for 30 minutes in front of 200 people"! He did really well!!! He started playing when there were 10 people behind him, and he finished with nearly 200 crammed in the room. Such talent this young one has!
Today we went on a hike on Bishop's Peak, a nearby mount in San Luis Obispo. We went with some new friends in the church. It was really fun, and Matt and I are so excited to do many more outdoor activities like this especially now that we have a dog with a huge need for activity!
The next picture of him is at our Christmas party that we hosted at our house Thanksgiving weekend where the youth helped us decorate our Christmas tree and watched Charlie Brown. I thought this was a fun pictured that captured him in a moment of laughter and enjoyment during a game we were playing. The third picture I took of him when we went to San Fransisco in October. By the way...in the first picture, he is making his typical "playing" face. That is the face he makes whenever he is playing an instrument. I hope you all enjoyed the pictures of Matt!
P.S. He is turning 30 on December 27!!!
P.S.S. Mimi we expect you and Jessica to visit us next summer, no excuses!

Introducing Keller!

Meet the newest addition to our family. Yesterday we had no idea we would come home from our trip to nearby San Luis Obispo with this beautiful new dog! She is a four year old German short-haired pointer. We originally went down to San Luis so that I could get a haircut at our friend's house. Brian and Sally have a beautiful pointer and we were loving their dog. We have been toying with the idea of getting a dog for about four years now, but we never felt like it was the right time. Now that we are at a place that we know we will be staying for a while, we have been feeling like a dog was more of a possibility. As we sat in our friends' home petting their dog, we asked if they knew where the local pound and humaine society were located. One thing led to another and you fast-forward to 4 hours later... we are driving home with the first family dog. Keller could not be a more perfect dog. I feel like we were so fortunate. She probably had excellent owners in the past. She is crate-trained, potty-trained, she sits, doesn't bark hardly ever unless there are predators, she is super friendly to visitors, and she loves to just sit in her regal pose next to us as we go about the house doing our work. It was really funny because I was the one really pushing to go get a dog, and as we walked into the humaine society Matt turns to me and says, "Oh, don't get too excited because we probably aren't going to get a dog." I just smiled because I knew he would be the one talking me into a dog by the end of the trip. Sure enough, we finished signing the adoption papers and he turns to me and whispers, "I think I love her already!" It was golden! Anyhow, we wanted you all to meet her. She is our newest companion, and I am thrilled because she is going to be my new running buddy! I really feel like Keller is just another reminder to me of God's love and care for us, his children. Matt and I are really excited to be moving into this phase of our lives in caring for a dog. She will and has already begun to add a lot of fun to our lives.

A new heart

I love my Sunday school class. I teach the 3-4 year olds, and I have so been enjoying watching their curious and eager minds soak up information all around them. The past couple of weeks we have been talking about how our hearts have all been stained because of our sin and we need more than just band aids to fix the mess. We need new hearts...and they were so excited to learn that God gives us new hearts because of Jesus. Today we all climbed under the table (somehow hearing a story under the table as opposed to sitting around the table is much more attention-grabbing) to hear about how Jesus died to give us new hearts. Three of them folded their hands and asked for new hearts. I have no idea what the eternal significance of their little mumbling prayers were, but it was so cool to watch them earnestly ask for new hearts. Such a joy to be with these children! This picture is from a few weeks ago when we learned about parents and obedience. I brought in some of mine and Matt's clothes for them to dress up, and here they are sporting "mommy and daddy" clothes.

Bits and pieces of my life

I have had a lot of thoughts about this new blogging world. I have talked with a few bloggers and viewed their sites and found different motivations for people to blog. For me, I have wondered if it will just be an artistic outlet, and how personal will I let it become. I find my most compelling reason to have this blog is so that I can share myself with those of you who are not around me day to day. So I want to share about the last few days, which have brought me to the realization of how much I need Jesus. Working at Starbucks has proved to be more of growing experience than I anticipated. I sought out this job as a sort of break from the last 21 years of driven educational pursuits. But as most of us learn at some point in our early adult years, we never stop growing and being stretched. It has been challenging to justify to myself and others why I am serving coffee at this age, stage, and "degree earned" position in life. I desire recognition and glory and identity. For so many years I was "the good student striving to reach some goal." Now I am serving coffee and then coming home (to wifery, laundry, cleaning, and cooking) five days a week. I feel "identity-less" in many ways. What further frustrates me is going to work and having teenage supervisors condescend, mistreat, and generally make me and my co-workers feel like we are idiots. I have been so frustrated with these things these last few days, coming home in tears wondering who I am and what I am made for.
Many of you know I have struggled with minor depression when in Saint Louis, and while I feel the Lord has graciously delivered me from that, I still know that there are going to be days or groups of days where I will continue to struggle with myself, others, God, and my future. But, as I sat on the couch yesterday trying to fight "the cloud" of depression, I realized just how much of a mixed blessing depression can be. I am relatively independent and self-motivated. I achieve most goals I set out to accomplish. I move at a fast, American, self-motivated pace. Having times of personal struggle with depression are moments where I come to realize my felt need for Jesus. They are markers and reminders in my life where my need is so evident. So, as much as I feel like I am wandering in this new stage in my life or looking for an identity, I am thankful for the reminders that I am not on this journey alone. I don't desire to sound to overly-simplistic in this last thought, but I wanted to take a moment and highlight the goodness of God in the midst of my struggle.

Besides knowing my spiritual and emotional struggles, I want to give you some snapshots of my life here. One way that I want to do that is to take you on a tour of my home. I am a visual person, and I love to see people's homes and meet their family/friends. It helps me put that person in a context when I can see who and where they live. A home also says a lot about a person, at least mine does. Pictures are the best that I can do until you all make your way out here. Sooo....welcome to my house. I am letting you in through the blue front door. First you will see my diningroom with our fantastic table and hutch that we got for an amazing deal in Saint Louis in the classifieds for $150. It may seem so cheesy and also a little tacky to bring that up, but this table is more to me than just a great deal! It is a big, 8ft. long reminder to me that God cares about providing not only my necessities but also the desires of my heart which, I admit, are oftentimes vain. But I am also really inspired by beautiful things, and when living on a budget, it is sometimes easy to think that budgeting and beauty cannot co-exist. But over and over God shows me how they can live together in harmony, and it is actually fun and creative to live like this.
On the other side of of our dining room is our living room. Both dining room and living room are one great room which is nice when we have people over. We can all be together in that one room. From the living room you can see into the kitchen. By the way the house was painted for us by the church in the months prior to our arrival. Talk about a warm welcome, they asked us to pick out the colors, and then they painted it to our liking. So Matt and I went bold with the colors since we are only going to be in this house 1 year.
So we went with a red kitchen. I love it! Next we move to our bedroom which is also off of the living room. I went with more neutral colors in the bedroom to create a more soothing environment. So these pictures should give you an idea of where I live. I hope you enjoyed the tour!

This Florida Girl can build a fire!

I had a great thanksgiving weekend! Amy Ruth has been here since Tuesday. We spent Tuesday afternoon showing her the beautiful sights of San Fransisco. We ate at our absolute favorite chinese restaraunt, the House of Nan King. It's been so fun to have Amy Ruth around again, just like old times in Saint Louis. We have had some great conversations and good times with the three of us together and all of us in relatively healthy places lives, ocmpared to our time together last year where we were all really struggling with school and life. So nice to all be healthy and enjoying life, together.

Thanksgiving was a joyous day. Amy Ruth and I got up for a Thanksgiving jog, and then we hit the kitchen hard making the 22 lb. turkey, stuffing, sweet potato rolls, custard pie, and many other goodies. Around 2 pm, Brooke and her family arrived for the festivities. The preparations lasted probably another 2 hours or so, despite my goal to be completely done and relaxing by 1:30 pm. Ha! At least I am conquering my idealisms in the kitchen early on in life. Once we got all the food on the table and all ten people seated around our huge table (one of God's blessings this year), we said grace and I was able to reflect on all of God's goodness in my life. Looking around the table, I was reminded of God's gift of friendship to me. I had friends from college, Saint Louis, and now California all seated around me and representing the different stages of my life where God has provided community for me. I am so thankful for my own family who, being absent from my table was something I felt throughout the day. But my friends are absolutely who I want to be with if family can't be there. I did get to talk with almost everybody except Dad. (Happy belated Thanksgiving, Dad!). After eating, Brooke's siblings and Amy Ruth, and I all crashed on my bed for a quick nap. Six of us in all were squeezed together like little children, except we are all anything but little children. It was such a comforting feeling to relax and enjoy friends' company. After the nap, we cleaned and watched the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special.

On Saturday night we had a wonderful time with the youth group. We had the youth group over to help us decorate our Christmas tree, drink cider and eat holiday pastries, and watch the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. They each brought a picture of themselves and put it in an ornament to put on our tree. Now we have our tree already up and it is full of the faces of new friends in our lives who we know will continue to become a big part of our lives as the years go by.
So why did I title this entry "this florida girl can build a fire"? Well, can you believe I built my first fire tonight? It was very thrilling to watch it take off and develop into a roaring fire. What can I say...I have never built a fire before so this was
really exciting for me. I hope you are all well,
I have gotten many emails from you guys...please know I have gotten them all and really appreciate knowing you guys are able to read about what is going on. I hope to email you all back sometime this week. Also, I changed the settings on my blog so anybody can comment, so you no longer need an account with blogger to comment. Just click on "comments" and type away!

A time to play

The Lord Your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I had an excellent weekend. I spent a few days last week working all over the house, accomplishing many things on my long list of things to do. I gave the house an all over clean, and I painted my office a delicious green color on a whim Saturday. It wasn't exactly what I envisioned, but I am still pleased with the overall transition. Color really is important to me. Now I can feel inspired in my office and not bored by the washed out, gray panelling.
I also went to the coast yesterday with Brooke, Linda, and Maggie. Both Linda and Maggie are friends I have made here. We had such a great time. We took our cameras and have a wonderful time taking pictures of each other. It is so fascinating how people change once they get behind a camera. Some people become more alive and flirtatious, while other people I have photographed become nervous and uncomfortable. Here are some of the highlights of our adventure.
I have realized how much I need to take time out from my busy life to play. Yes, that's right, run and jump and play like a five year old girl. Each of us women really needed this yesterday, and I think these pictures show how much we enjoyed playing. This may sound wierd, but I
honestly feel like I am worshipping God when I play. It is an act of faith to leave the cares of our
lives in God's hands and play like a kid.
I love the verse I listed at the top because it speaks to me of God's tenderness for us. His love lets me live carefree. It also speaks of his playfulness in that he will sings loudly over us. I hope that no matter how busy my life becomes I always take a little bit of time to be carefree.
Tomorrow our dear friend from Saint Louis, Amy Ruth, is coming for a whole week and we are going to have our thanksgiving feast with her and Brooke's family. It will be wonderful, but definitely incomplete without my family. I do miss you guys, especially around the holidays! Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope to post pictures of our feast for you all to enjoy!